Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Favourite posts from the 4th quarter of 2007

Pick of the Archive:
Favourite Posts, October-December 2007

1) Mooncakes are SHITE - 2nd October

The Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival prompts a brief rant about one of the country's least appealing 'special foods'.

2) Hush - 5th October

Enjoying the sounds of the rain in Beijing....

3) Reading the traffic - 7th October

I compare the hazards of jogging in China to the fiendish difficulty of the Monaco Grand Prix simulation I've been failing to master on my Playstation.

4) Fighting the good fight, Chinglish-style - 16th October

A particularly funny propaganda banner that appeared in the Sanlitun bar district shortly after a notoriously ham-fisted 'crackdown' on drug dealers there.

5) A teaching dream - 17th October

I suffer a rare anxiety dream - in which all of my students are seduced away from me by the rival teacher in the classroom next door (who just happens to be England's funniest [deceased] comedian). There's an additional punchline here.

6) Another thwarted romance haiku - 19th October

Another haiku on my non-event of an infatuation with the perpetually inaccessible Madame X.

7) Return of The Anti-30 League - 20th October

My birthday prompts the revival of a militant post-University campaign for obstinate age-denial.

8) Today's hilarity in the studio - 23rd October

My recording job throws up a couple of especially risible Chinglish moments. This one is possibly even better.

9) Why we love the Internet - 24th October

Because of silliness like 'the Hitler cat', that's why.

10) The Chinese DO have a sense of humour - 1st November

A link to one of the sharpest pieces of Chinese satire I have encountered (on the sorry state of journalism in this country).

11) Things that are SHITE - Employers - 2nd November

My new occasional series on things that really get my goat continues with this diatribe against the UK head office of my principal employer for the stupendous thoughtlessness of their timing of the quarterly 'company meeting'.

12) Important announcement - safety regulations for Chinese air travel - 3rd November

Another stunningly inventive piece of Chinglish prompts reflections on airport security and on the vileness of electronic dictionaries.

13) Great moments in cinema history - 4th November

My life as a cinema-goer: the 10 key moments.

14) Dangerous freedom - 8th November

The prospect of spending a day entirely alone in the office prompts some crazy and mischievous thoughts.

15) Chinese people LOVE me! (3) - 12th November

In which I admit to my lack-of-weakness for Chinese girls.... (a topic later covered in more detail here).

16) No. 038871 - 26th November

Superstitions about the significance of Beijing taxi driver registration numbers - and the birth of a competition to find the city's longest-serving cabbie.

17) My brilliant website ideas - 29th November

More japery, based around my occasional brainwaves for making money on the Internet.

18) Jobs I nearly had - 1st December

December's 'List of the Month' - pretty self-explanatory title!

19) A haunting image - 2nd December

A favourite piece of 'found humour', from a visit to New York a decade ago.

20) A different kind of haunting - 2nd December

Another of my 'list' poems, another of my poems about lost love - you know the drill.

24) Chinese people LOVE me! (9) - 4th December

A "little bit of politics", as I rail against the 'One China' Policy.

25) My fantasy girlfriend - Rhapsody Angel - 8th December

Confessing my childhood infatuation..... with a fibreglass puppet.

26) In praise of cautious fear - 10th December

A surprisingly popular 'bon mot of the the week' - perhaps because it was so evidently a commentary on my continuing inactivity with regard to Madame X.

27) His Left Foot - 10th December

Recollections of the great footballer, Kevin Sheedy (one of the greatest players I ever saw play in the flesh), including a clip of one of his best-known goals.

28) Messy break-ups - 14th December

My brutally abrupt sacking initiates some melancholy philosophizing on the similarities between jobs and girlfriends.

29) The 'Evil Bastard Employers' - a case study - 15th December

A very long post, but an important one: a list of grievances against my first employer in China illustrates many of the problems for foreigners in working or doing business here.

30) A new poem - 18th December

Quite a promising one, I think - again it is about my dismal lack of progress with X, my only topic at the moment.

31) I am a Penguin - 20th December

Christmas is the time for daft 'personality profiling' quizzes!

32) Addiction - 22nd December

I 'fess up to my sorry dependence on a citrus-y sweet called Hi-Chew.

33) Chinese people LOVE me! (12) - 22nd December

Another embarrassing revelation: I frequently sing when walking home late at night through the hutongs.

34) Token schmaltzy moment - 24th December

A link to a feelgood story I found on another website (and some compensatory curmudging from myself).

35) Music & Lyrics - 26th December

My rather good Christmas Day was capped with a viewing of this extremely charming film on DVD (a present from my buddy, The Chairman - who was particularly impressed with Hugh Grant in it).

36) An illustrated haiku for the year's end - 28th December

In praise of 'instant noodles' (though with an admixture of personal shame as well).

37) 421!! - 29th December

The days following Christmas in Beijing were marked by obscene peaks in the Air Pollution Index. (It is particularly nice - by contrast - when the sky clears up again, though.)

38) The Year-End Roundup - 10 Favourite Moments Of 2007 - 30th December

Not such a bad a year, after all......

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