Showing posts with label Sport. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sport. Show all posts

Friday, November 16, 2012

Haiku for the week

Speed, danger, and noise;
Smells of oil, rubber, metal.
Modern gladiators.


I happen to be down in Hong Kong for the week of the Macau GP. One of my unexpected vices is that I am a bit of a petrolhead, have been a motor racing fan since childhood. The Macau event is one of the most famous in the world, held on a twisty street circuit similar to Monaco. I've been wanting to go for years - and, finally, I am realising my dream.

I'll probably be deaf by Monday.


Sunday, September 30, 2012

More exasperation with Chinese television

For the last few years Beijing TV's sports channel has bought the rights to show some of the English Premier League football games live. Not that many, unfortunately. Usually only one or two per weekend; and often not the biggest match-ups, because they are often allocated midday kick-off times which clash with early evening games in the domestic premier league here. (I suspect most Chinese football fans would rather watch a top English game than their domestic league, but BTV is not going to pander to consumer demand!)

Still, I've got the opportunity to watch occasional footie in the comfort of my own home. I shouldn't complain. 

This weekend BTV was showing the Chelsea v Arsenal match. Nice. Not live, mind you - because the game between Beijing and Changchun (we lost, miserably, at home) was given priority; but a full recorded rerun was shown immediately after the local game.

I think there was another complete re-rerun at some point today as well. (And probably on several more occasions through the coming week; they like to make the most from the fees they've paid, our Chinese TV stations.) I dipped into the channel several times at random this morning, hoping perhaps they might have another game to show in full as well. NO.

Or at least some highlights of the other games played yesterday - because there were a whopping 29 goals scored in Saturday's 8 Premiership fixtures. NO. They only showed the goals from the Chelsea v Arsenal game I'd already seen.

Now, BTV does have the rights to show highlights of all the Premiership games. (I'd kind of expect that to come automatically bundled with the live game package they've bought.) And it seems unlikely that the English Football Association would place restrictions on when those highlights can be shown (really, is there any value to them in insisting that a highlights reel can't be shown until later in the week?). BTV does have one or more weekly Premiership review shows with all of the week's goals (I just saw one on Friday). But apparently they are unable or unwilling to provide one over the weekend - WTF??



[And, of course, when they do finally show full highlights of all the games, they spoil the suspense for anyone who's been avoiding checking the results by displaying the final score on screen from the outset of each game!]


Friday, July 27, 2012

Haiku for the week

In childhood we cared:
Sport seemed noble, inspiring.
Now, an empty show.


I got quite excited about the Olympics as a kid, and watched avidly in '72 and '76. But the enthusiasm was already waning by the time I got into my teens, and the competition in '80 and '84 was compromised by boycotts (I approved of the Americans' stand over the Russian invasion of Afghanistan and was disappointed that Britain hadn't followed suit). I haven't given it much of a thought since then. I made the effort to take more of an interest when the Games were being held in Beijing four years ago, but the atmosphere then was rather subdued by an oppressive government and an almost complete absence of overseas visitors.

And, as I observed after the last Olympics, the event has now become ridiculously bloated, overhyped, over-commercialized, raddled with nationalism - completely divorced from the original ethos of the Games. It's supposed to be about the individual pursuit of excellence; I'm not even too keen on the relay events in running, and certainly wouldn't include any team games. I'd strip the event down to the a few core sports, closer to the original ancient Greek template: basically just the athletics, and maybe swimming; no team games, no adversarial games, nothing that requires apparatus (other than the long-established throwing sports), and nothing that requires subjective scoring (diving and gymnastics, though they are fascinating to watch, are not proper competitive sports). There might be a case for some of the combat sports (the Greeks had boxing and wrestling), though I would resist them on moral grounds (trying to hurt someone shouldn't really be a sport or a form of entertainment). There might be a case for cycling (not a very complex piece of apparatus; and I can imagine the Greeks very easily might have invented it in a slightly different universe); but it is a very boring event. No, athletics and swimming would be it for me. All over in a week. If only...

The Olympics have become a colossal bore. And, if you happen to be caught in the host country, the host city, a massive inconvenience.


Monday, July 02, 2012

Traffic Report - the blog stats for June

Well, despite being "on the road", I have so far been maintaining my usual - excessive - rate of posting. Having a fast Internet link (and way too much time on my hands) can be corrupting!

Things are likely to be a little slower for the next few weeks while I am in the States, because there is quite a lot of other stuff I am trying to get done while I am here.


Last month, there were 31 posts and nearly 13,000 words on Froogville.

There were 28 posts and around 10,000 words on Barstool Blues.


And that's without counting my huge European Football Championship discussion thread, currently standing at 62 comments and nearly 14,000 words (at least three quarters of of them mine: I had been uncannily accurate in most of my analyses and predictions, right up until the final - when the emergence of SuperSpain took me rather by surprise; I had  been rooting for Italy, who, I felt, had been clearly the best team over the first five games of the tournament).

The other major item of business this past month was my retrospective on the changes I've witnessed in the Beijing bar scene over the past 10 years, a series in three parts (I, II, and III).


Bon mot for the week

"It's good to be able to perceive the nobility in failure. Otherwise, we'd never have anything to celebrate."


Froog

As England football fans know all too well. Having been almost as disappointing as we always are in major tournaments (more disappointing to me, because I'd had hopes that for once we might not be), we now take comfort in the fact that we were knocked out by the eventual champions runners-up, and arguably fared better against them than the vaunted Germans (and the Spanish, in their first encounter in the group stage). It's not as good as winning, but it's something.


Sunday, July 01, 2012

Nearly done...

After nearly 24 days, the end of the 2012 European Football Championships is at last at hand. (Go here if you want to ridicule - or be awed by! - my perspicacity in attempting to analyse who was likely to win, and why.)


I first posted this Fast Show clip a couple of years ago, but I can't resist putting it up again now - because it does so beautifully encapsulate what a warm place football holds at the core of childhood memory for so many of us who grew up in England in the 1970s.




And here's a further little dollop of nostalgia, a clip of the BBC Saturday late-evening football highlights show Match of the Day, with its oh-so-evocative theme music. (This is apparently the opening show from the 1970-1971 season - still in black & white! - and the first time that the famous tune was used.)




Saturday, June 23, 2012

Fantasy Girlfriends of Yesteryear - The 'Football Team'

It was Richard Briers, as Tom Good in the '70s BBC sitcom The Good Life, who first introduced me to the idea of making lists of the desirable women one might fantasise over. In one episode he revealed that as a boy he had used to compile teams of 11-a-side to compete in 'cricket matches' using the Owzat dice game. I dallied with the idea for a while, sometimes substituting football for cricket (I had a number of card or dice-based games for football, whereas the venerable Owzat set - the game had perhaps ceased being manufactured in the 1970s - strictly speaking belonged to my brother). I can't now remember exactly who was in my lineups (Tom had favoured the Hollywood glamourpusses of his own childhood in the 1940s: I think Hedy Lamarr was mentioned as one of his most formidable bowlers), but it is highly likely that the ladies below would have been among them - all young actresses who appeared frequently on British TV during my childhood in the later '70s and early '80s, and whose exceptional prettiness left an indelible impression on me.

Since that time, thoughts of sport have been inextricably linked in my mind with thoughts of beautiful women; hence the idea for this post emerges out of my recent obsession with the unfolding European Football Championship. I suspect it works the other way for me as well, that I have a Pavlovian reflex to think of sport whenever I see a pretty girl - something that has probably not been helpful to me in attempting to forge romantic relationships.

I've produced a list of twelve lovely ladies here, since cricket traditionally allowed only one substitute, and back in the 1970s football did too (this allowing multiple substitutions, and having most of your squad on the bench to choose from, is a newfangled rule change I still turn my nose up at). I haven't bothered to try to come up with a tactical formation for them (although as a ten-year-old I would have done!).

It was hard to trim my selection down this far. A few strong contenders had to be omitted: Jenny Agutter (who I'd better give a 'Fantasy Girlfriend' post all of her own one day; or my pal The British Cowboy, for one, will never forgive me), Sheila Ruskin (a rather good actress who, unfortunately, became forever tainted in pop-culture-land by having a terribly hammy part in a 1981 Dr Who episode), Francesca Annis (who was Estella in a 1960s BBC serialisation of Great Expectations, and got her kit off [as we Brits like to put it] to play Lady Macbeth for Roman Polanski round about 1970... although I didn't see that until much later!), and Natalie Ogle, a china-doll pretty waif of a girl who got a run of parts in BBC1 Sunday afternoon 'classic serials' in the late '70s, Little Nell and Lydia Bennett (I saw her on stage at the Oxford Playhouse many years later, and she was still rather breathtaking; still is today, it seems!). And, of course, I've already celebrated a number of my other favourite actresses from that era in their own posts in this series: Diana RiggJane Seymour, Jan Francis, Patricia Hodge, Gabrielle Drake, and Felicity Kendal (whose most famous role was as Tom Good's wonderful wife Barbara in that TV show I mentioned at the outset).

But THIS is my....


1970s 'Fantasy Football' Glamour Team

Fiona Fullerton
I first became smitten when she appeared in Angels, an early 1970s BBC drama series about student nurses. I confess to a bit of a weakness for a nurse's uniform! Shortly before that (I was later to discover), she had been the most inappropriately grown-up and embarrasingly fanciable Alice In Wonderland; shortly after, she would go on to a string of forgettable glamour roles, including an appearance as a Bond girl.


Jenny Hanley
This rather lovely actress had a few conventional glamour parts in horror films and such early in her career, but then settled into a regular gig as a presenter on Magpie, an ITV children's magazine programme - which gave me a lot of exposure to her as I was growing up. I adored her voice, as well as everything else about her.


Barbara Kellerman
Possibly the most beautiful woman in this very beautiful team (Jewish girls are another recurring weakness of mine), and probably the tallest too. I first saw her as a nurse (are we seeing a pattern here already?) in a medical soap called General Hospital, but she went on to play dozens of other TV parts during the 1970s.


Lesley-Anne Down
Or I should perhaps say Lady Georgina Worsley, the part that she played in the popular period drama Upstairs, Downstairs. She soon got drawn away to a career in Hollywood, but it was that early role as the Bellamys' flighty niece that enraptured me. I remember there was one episode where she took a rather raunchy part in a silent film, playing a slinky seductress in a Parisian café: beret, long cigarette-holder, and black silk stockings. One of the most memorable erotic images of my young life! Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I couldn't find a picture of that. So, I plumped for one from when she became a nurse during WWI instead.


Emma Samms
Another rising star who, like Lesley-Anne Down and Jane Seymour, was promptly stolen from us by the greedy magnates of American television. I believe she had a long-running part in Dynasty or something, but I never watched any of that junk. I remember her chiefly from the 1979 film Arabian Adventure. (Arabian princess costumes even beat a nurse's uniform in the fetish stakes!)


Lea Brodie
Billed as Lea Dregorn in a few of her earliest appearances (not sure if she got married young, or just decided that her real name was proving a bit of a handicap in showbusiness), she unfortunately didn't have a very long career. She cropped up a few times on TV in shows like Space: 1999, but she's only really remembered for playing an almost-Arab-princess type glamour role in the low-budget action romp Warlords of Atlantis. Best legs I've ever seen!


Caroline Munro
I feel a bit bad about including her as an 'actress' since, despite scores of film roles over the years (mostly in horror films), I've never seen any evidence that she can act at all. She was, however, quite outrageously sexy, possibly the most universally lusted after woman in the UK from the late '60s through to the early '80s. She was best known as the 'face' of Lamb's Navy Rum in a long-running series of calendars and glamour posters. However, she showed admirable resolve in refusing ever to do any nudie stuff - despite being supposedly offered a king's ransom by Hef to appear in Playboy. I think the only true 'starring' role she landed was as space-age swashbuckler Stella Star in the dreadfully cheap-and-cheesy Barbarella/Star Wars ripoff Star Crash (rated at 3.8 out of 10 by IMDB, the lowest score I think I've ever seen on there). This film occasionally strays into so-bad-it's-good territory: Christopher Plummer, slumming it for a paycheck as the Galactic Emperor, has one of the most brilliant lines ever uttered on film - "Imperial Battleship, halt the flow of Time!"

And here she is in motion, in a raunchy little TV ad from the early '70s for a popular brand of mini cigar.


Cherie Lunghi
In contention for an award as the most prolific TV actress of all time, and not only beautiful but always emanating such élan, such coolness, such class. She was notorious for a short while for having (almost subliminally briefly) got her kit off as Guinevere in John Boorman's Excalibur, but I think I remember seeing her first as one of Edward VIII's former girlfriends in an ITV series about the 1936 abdication crisis (making his choice of Wallis Simpson completely unfathomable).


Anne-Louise Lambert
An Australian actress best-known for her bewitching performance in Peter Weir's hauntingly beautiful Picnic At Hanging Rock (which I tend to cite as the most erotic film I've seen - to general derision from people who expect their eroticism to involve actual sex): her character, a 17-year-old schoolgirl called Miranda, is memorably described as "a Botticelli angel". In her mid-twenties she moved to England to develop her career, but the first part she got was as Lucrezia Borgia in The Borgias, a series widely derided as one of the most inept costume dramas the Beeb ever produced. Fortunately, she did continue to get regular work after this, but never achieved the major stardom that had seemed on the cards after Picnic.


Olivia Newton-John
Another pick I feel a little embarrassed about including in a lineup of actresses, since her acting was really pretty horrible. But damn - she looked mighty fine. I knew her mostly through appearances as a singer. I never saw Grease (was irretrievably prejudiced against it by the irritatingness of all the hit singles it spawned, and how long they clogged the upper reaches of the charts that year). However, I did somehow (I can't remember how: this is not a film I would ever have made the slightest effort to see) catch her follow-up, Xanadu, which is quite possibly the silliest film ever made - but she looks smoking hot throughout.


Lynne Frederick
She later became a prime target of tabloid gossip-mongers as the last wife of Peter Sellers, and died before the age of 40 after troubles with alcohol and depression. However, her early career showed a lot of promise, and she happens to have appeared in three films I particularly like: the fabulous children's story The Amazing Mr Blunden, and two unusual sci-fi thrillers, Phase IV and No Blade of Grass.


Lysette Anthony
I had thought she was another of those young beauties who'd deserted our shores in search of big bucks in America, but her IMDB resumé indicates that she's worked consistently in British TV. I'm not sure quite how she impinged on my consciousness, since she's only a little older than me and didn't really get her career going until I'd gone to college (at which point I didn't watch TV much any more). I think I saw her in a TV movie of Ivanhoe in the early '80s.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Hoping...

I have gone on record (perhaps rashly!) as believing that England have a decent chance in this European Football Championship - the first occasion in my lifetime when I have felt this optimistic about the national team's prospects of lifting a major title. I could be made to look very foolish if we suffer a repeat of our embarrassingly dreadful spell against Sweden at the beginning of the second half.

If, however, we manage not to stuff up against the Ukraine, we'll be into the knockout phase and anything can happen.

To encourage positive thoughts (or have a pre-prepared consolation on hand, if an unthinkable disaster should occur tonight), here's a nice little retrospective of the career of the great Paul Gascoigne - who took us so close to tournament victories in 1990 and 1996.




And here's one of the main reasons for my feeling so positive about our chances of doing well this year: a review of this season's exploits by our explosive young striker Danny Welbeck.



Come on, England!!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Why England have a chance this time

Yes, this is the LONG and mostly rather earnest football post that I need to get off my chest. Non-sports fan should ignore this. 
[But anyone as football-mad as me could drop over to my parallel blog, The Barstool, where I'm hosting an ongoing discussion forum about the current European Championship.]



I really believe England have a decent chance of at least making a respectable impression on this tournament, and perhaps, perhaps... going all the way.

In '96, we had a better team, and, with the help of home advantage, got a good run going and came tantalisingly close to putting out eventual winners Germany in the semi-final. But I don't think our team then was that much better, and outside of the first-choice eleven the squad may have been every bit as thin as our current one. Moreover, there were so many doubts about the form or fitness of key players and the overall balance of the side (would we get the best out of Anderton playing him out wide, would McManaman's showboating ever provide a useful end-product [answer: NO], would Gascoigne perform at all - and stay out of trouble??) that there wasn't really any great confidence in the team's prospects going into the tournament; hopes, yes, there's always hope - but no real expectation of success. Similarly in the '86 and '90 World Cups we sent out decent teams, but, with our miserable record in international football since 1970, we didn't ever seriously think we might be good enough to win the competition.

Nope, this is the first time in my lifetime that I genuinely feel as though we could win. I don't think we have a great chance, we're certainly not anybody's favourite tip for the title, but there is for once a real possibility that we could prevail.

And this is not just wishful thinking, the fond self-delusion of the ever-optimistic fan. I have been ruthlessly realistic - even pessimistic - in my assessment of England's prospects in the past. I have definite reasons for feeling so comparatively bullish about the current tournament.

They are as follows (in no particular order... although there's probably a declining order of magnitude, with the most significant factor coming at the top of the list):


Lampard getting injured
I have nothing against Frank, and I would, on balance, have preferred him to be available to give us more cover in the squad. But this has been one of England's key problems for nearly a decade: Lampard is deemed to be too good, too dangerous a player to be used only as a substitute; so we have repeatedly shoehorned him into the side, even though he manifestly doesn't gel with Steven Gerrard. They're too similar in style of play (both liking to press forward to link with the strikers, both making runs into the box to grab goals themselves, both capable of spreading the play with very accurate long diagonal balls) and, even more so, in their on-pitch persona (both like to be the dominating influence in the midfield, the capo carismatico who sets the pattern of play and inspires those around him). There's usually only room for one such player in the central midfield. 

The foolhardy attempt to accommodate them both has led to playing Gerrard out of position, wide on the right or the left, or in behind a lone striker (a role in which he can be dangerous, but it's not his best position). Tough as it is to do, we really had to make a decision to play just one of them, and relegate the other to the bench. No England manager has had the balls to do that; and Roy Hodgson might not have done, had the decision not been made for him by the hand of Fate. 

I never saw it as such a difficult choice to make, though it would have been difficult to implement in the face of pressure from the public and the media (and from Lampard and his Chelsea teammates, I would imagine). Since his explosive arrival on the international scene in the 2004 Euros, Frank has never really made that much of a contribution to England, has rarely looked anything like as influential as he has been for his club. Gerrard, for me, is a better tackler, a better long passer, and a more galvanizing presence in the team (and he's about as good on finishing too; he just doesn't push into the box quite as much as Frank). But he's never enjoyed the 'space' - either physically or mentally/emotionally - to show the best of his club form when required to play alongside Lampard, even if he was allowed to line up in central midfield. Great player though Lampard is, the England team immediately becomes better without him. It's not about picking the best players, it's about picking the players who work together best as a unit.


A proper balance in midfield
The addiction to playing both Gerrard and Lampard has usually led also to the omission of a holding midfielder. Steve and Frank, though they both have a good workrate and good positional sense and will hustle to try to win the ball back, are neither of them true holding midfielders; they're not content to sit deep the whole time, they don't have the bone-crunching tackles that can intimidate an opposing team, and they're not unselfish enough to concentrate their efforts primarily on winning back possession while delegating most of the creative duties to others. 

Every great team needs an unassuming grafter like that to help his defenders smother opposition attacks and to ensure a good supply of the ball for the more creative midfield players. I think the big key to our near-successes in '86 and '96 (more even than the Beardsley-Lineker and Sheringham-Shearer strike partnerships, though they were also a huge plus) was the pairing of terrier-like Peter Reid with the majestic Glenn Hoddle and of the bludgeoning Paul Ince with the mercurial Paul Gascoigne. And where would Bobby Charlton and Martin Peters have been in 1966 without the ankle-biting Nobby Stiles to keep giving them the ball? The value of the midfield 'hard man' seemed to be forgotten for a while in the '70s and '80s (perhaps because we didn't have any suitable candidates for the role?); and then it may have been discredited rather when it was adopted again in earnest by the miserably inept Graham Taylor in the early '90s (the suspicion was that he was stocking his squad with tenacious journeymen simply because he didn't trust flair players; the likes of Carlton Palmer, unfortunately, were just not formidable enough to fill the boots of Nobby Stiles). 

Now, at last, we've once more got a proper holding midfielder in Scott Parker. I know he's got his detractors, many complain of his lack of flair. No, he may not win any games for us singlehandedly with a moment of creative genius; but we will, mark my words, win many more games with him playing than without him. 

For the first time in ages we've got some decent width in the side too, guys who actually specialise in playing down the flanks rather than displaced central midfielders. Yes, I fret that the likes of Downing and Milner are not really international class and are unlikely to unlock a game for us (though young Oxlade-Chamberlain might), but they give balance and shape to the team, and their solid work ethic will help keep us in matches, help us hang on to a lead (even if it doesn't help us take the lead).


The shadow of Beckham receding
OK, he was gone at the last World Cup, but only just: there was still some speculation till quite late in the day that he might get one last call-up for the tournament, and he was still hanging out with the squad in South Africa. There was still a sense that this was a team that had been built around him, and was having to learn for the first time to do without him. But, frankly, we always had done without him. Becks played most of his best stuff for England in qualifying matches; at the major tournaments he always seemed to be injured, or coming back from injury. And our insistence on playing him when he wasn't fully match-fit hobbled the side. Even if he had been at the peak of his powers for us in '02 and '04 and '06, I'm not sure that having such a dominant mega-star was good for the England team as a whole: too much was allowed to depend on Beckham, other players didn't find the room to stamp their own personality on the team; and we developed an inferiority complex, convincing ourselves that we couldn't possibly win without him

It wasn't nearly as bad as the Keegan era, when the obsession with trying to build a side that suited Mighty Mouse's idiosyncrasies led to the exclusion of several arguably even better players, most notably Glenn Hoddle and Trevor Francis (it was not a coincidence that we failed to qualify for either the World Cup or the Euros in the 1970s). But it was pretty bad. Great player though Beckham was, we achieved nothing during the period of his ascendancy. I feel that the post-Beckham era holds much more promise.


Rooney's suspension
Missing the first two games of this tournament might just possibly be the best thing that could have happened for Wayne, for England, for all of us - better even than Frank Lampard's injury. It's given him more time to recover from any possible niggling knocks and strains of the kind that tend to accumulate towards the season's end, and also from the physical and mental weariness that naturally accompany the end of a long, hard (and this year ultimately unsuccessful) championship campaign. It's allowed - forced - the rest of the team to discover what they are capable of without him. And it's spared him the frustration (confidence-sapping, form-weakening, temper-cranking frustration) of having to play in the opening game or two, when the tactical approach is likely to be more cagey, the nerves rawer, and the team not yet functioning smoothly together... and hence our Wayne would be feeling under more pressure to perform, but not getting much service to enable him to do so. Hopefully, he's now fit and raring to go; and his eagerness to get involved after being kept on the leash for two games could push aside any of the big occasion nerves that may have dogged him in the past.


A blend of youth and experience
Gerrard, Terry, Cole, and Parker might be playing their last tournament for England, certainly their last European Championship. Lescott and Jagielka, finally getting a chance in central defence after years of impressive service for their clubs, are both now 29. There are a few other players who've been gradually establishing themselves in the squad over the last few years and are now in their mid-twenties - Milner, Downing, and Ashley Young (who's a bit older than I'd thought). And Wayne Rooney, who's been around forever, is still not yet 27: he should now be in his prime. Most of the rest of the squad is pretty young. Some might worry that perhaps it's a bit too young and untried (I have my doubts as to whether Phil Jones and Martin Kelly can yet be ready for international football, but they're only along as emergency cover, and with any luck they won't be needed); but, overall, I think there's a better balance in this squad than we've seen for a long time.


A non-embarassing manager
It's long been fashionable to sneer at Roy Hodgson, seemingly just because he's so unassuming, such an apparently nice and down-to-earth bloke. Well, there are persistent quibbles about his record as well: he's never achieved much with a big club, and the majority of his 36-year management career has been outside of the UK. However, he has had notable successes: kick-starting the revival of Inter Milan's fortunes in the '90s, converting Fulham from relegation strugglers into an upper half of the Premiership side, and most recently saving West Brom from the drop. He's also had previous experience of international management (not something that any other candidates for the job could claim) with Switzerland and Finland. It might well be said that the keynote of his CV has been making the best of limited resources - which is exactly the skill set the England manager needs. He's always struck me as articulate and shrewd; and I'm disappointed he didn't get the job 10 years ago.

In fact, I think he's the first England manager in my lifetime who's really inspired confidence in me. We've had far too many clearly unsuitable appointments: impossibly mild-mannered and dithery Ron Greenwood, who seemed incapable of making any tough decisions (he even rotated his goalkeepers, for gawd's sake!), long-ball guru Graham Taylor (an effective lower division manager, all at sea on the international stage), religious loony Glenn Hoddle (a sublime player, but a complete whackjob), all-heart-no-brain Kevin Keegan (possibly the only person to retire from any job ever admitting it was beyond him?), and overpromoted backroom boy Steve McLaren (a decent technical coach, but of limited tactical perspicacity). And even the ones who were up to the job were horribly flawed: Alf Ramsey was allowed to rest on his 1966 laurels for too long; Don Revie rather too readily abandoned national duty for the lure of the petro-dollar; Terry Venables was a stereotypical Cockney spiv whose dodgy business dealings were clearly going to derail his managerial career sooner or later; Sven-Goran Eriksson was dogged by tales of his philandering; and the gruff arrogance (and ultra-conservative tactics) of Fabio Capello alienated just about everyone - press, fans, and players. Even Sir Bobby Robson, our most successful manager of the modern era, wasn't that trusted or admired while he was actually in the job: our 1990 World Cup campaign got off to a very shaky start; he had been pressured by the media into calling up Gascoigne (who he seemed to feel was too unreliable), was pressured (by his players, it was rumoured) into changing his formation mid-tournament, and was widely ridiculed for bringing along the blunt instrument Steve Bull as a never-to-be-used backup for Gary Lineker. It's the legend of our heroic failure in the semi-final against Germany that has retrospectively given rise to such a rosy-tinted assessment of his tenure.

Whatever Roy Hodgson's limitations may be (and every manager has some), I believe he's the best manager we've had in a very long time, and quite possibly the best ever.


An imposing goalkeeper
Frankly, I never felt that Peter Shilton or David Seaman were amongst the world's very best keepers; but they were agile shot-stoppers and they did command respect between the sticks. We have had an agonising wait to find a worthy successor to them. England were never going to be in contention for a trophy when we had to turn to a closing-in-on-retirement and never-quite-good-enough David "Calamity" James to pull on the gloves for us. But Joe Hart is the business. He has been stupendous in the Premiership for the last three years. And he seems to emanate confidence... even when he has made a mistake. I hope I'm not going to jinx him with this praise: he did give cause for anxiety with a couple of jittery moments early on against the French on Monday; and harsher critics have berated him for failing to save Samir Nasri's zinging shot. But I'm still going to come out and say Joe Hart is one of the best keepers I've ever seen play for England. He already bears comparison with Shilton and Seaman, and could go on to prove himself even better than them. I don't think he's yet at the level of of Iker Casillas and Gianluigi Buffon - who are out-of-this-world good - but he has the potential to become so in a few more years. I think he could be vying with Germany's Manuel Neuer for the accolade of the third best keeper in the tournament. A winning team needs a very good goalkeeper as its foundation; and Joe Hart is a very good goalkeeper.


A new star in the making
We might see great things from Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain or Ashley Young or Theo Walcott, but my major hope for this tournament is young Danny Welbeck. OK, he's not the unstoppable goal machine that Robbie Fowler and Michael Owen were, even as teenagers; but with his strength and his tireless support play he perhaps offers a broader package of assets to the team overall. And he does score some fabulous goals as well. He looked very, very dangerous for Manchester Utd on occasions last season, and his superb strike in our last friendly against Belgium encourages me to believe that he could do the same for England over the coming fortnight.

I'm not sure that he's yet developed that much of an understanding with Rooney, but it could be, should be a substantial further advantage to have a striking pair from the same club. Another of our problems over the past 8 years has been that we've never been able to find an effective partner for Rooney. If that problem were to be solved, we could start winning things...


Who should we fear?
NO-ONE. That's not to say there aren't formidable teams to overcome, teams who on paper look to have much more flair, and much more strength in depth in their squads than us. But their 'superiority' is not overwhelming: we should respect them, not fear them.

The Irish, Greeks, Swedes, and Czechs are pretty hopeless. Poland and Ukraine wouldn't get anywhere without the home advantage. Denmark and Russia have shown some quality, but not nearly enough to go all the way. Holland and Portugal have shown themselves to be desperately disappointing. France and Italy have a lot of good players, but they haven't had long enough to rebuild their squads, perfect new patterns of play, and, above all, restore confidence after their absolutely dismal showings in the World Cup two years ago. Croatia are the 'wild card' (disgracefully underrated by the bookies!); they're very good, but not as good as us; and they will struggle to qualify out of their group ahead of Spain or Italy.

Spain and Germany are deservedly the tournament favourites. They have built up an aura of invincibility over the past half dozen years. However, they do have some problems, some potential vulnerabilities. 

Spain have lost a number of key players: Marco Senna, David Villa, Carles Puyol, Joan Capdevilla. Their star striker has had one of the most miserable runs of bad form in footballing history (which might not necessarily be laid to rest by a couple of goals against an AWOL Irish defence). And I've often felt that their successes have been achieved despite rather because of Vicente Del Bosque's leadership: he seems to struggle to pick the best lineup from among his overabundance of talented midfielders, to pick his best striker, or to pick a formation that will work well for the people he's picked; and his latest experiment of trying to play without a striker at all just seemed completely bonkers. If he picks a striker from now on, and it's Fernando Torres, and Torres comes back into form - then his reputation could be spectacularly vindicated. But Spain looked very, very ordinary for much of the game against Italy; for all of their pretty football, they made very few scoring chances.

Germany also haven't yet looked as dangerous as they did at the last World Cup: Ozil, Podolski, and Muller all looking quite muted thus far. It's a struggle for them to replace Miroslav Klose, who has been their principal goalscorer for a decade. Mario Gomez seems to be finding his form; but he's under an awful lot of pressure. And there doesn't seem to be much cover in the squad for that position. The Germans are also having to rebuild their central defence. And there's a danger that the squad overall may now be a bit too young: of the current starters, only Lahm, Schweinsteiger, and Podolski are over 26; most of the squad players are under 23.

Spain and Germany are going to be very dangerous opponents (as might Italy, France, and Croatia be); but no-one else in this tournament is. And the Big Two (or the Big Five) are not by any means unbeatable. We have nothing to fear.

We are one of six teams in serious contention this year. And we might just pull it off.

Haiku for the week

Cheering for a team;
Simple thrills, forgotten joy - 
Return to childhood.


Part of the very special (and rather dangerous, for someone as emotionally brittle as me) appeal of watching football on TV is that this is one of my earliest and most potent memories. More than almost anything else, more than a favourite book or film first encountered at that time of my life, more even than a heart-straining visit to my hometown, a game of footie on the box will transport me back to the sensation of being 8 or 10 years old (watching Leeds beating Arsenal in the Centenary FA Cup Final in 1972, Holland faltering against Germany in the World Cup Final in 1974). [But of course, Paul Whitehouse captured this feeling best in a classic Fast Show monologue which I've posted on here before.]

These three weeks glued to the magic and drama of the European Championships are not only physically gruelling, but emotionally a bit of an obstacle course too; these recollections of the peace and comfort of 'home', of the lost and unrecoverable world of childhood innocence, are rather too taunting at a time of such uncertainty and insecurity in my life.


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The spirit of adventure

Just as I was about to leave Beijing a few weeks ago, a friend of mine forwarded me an e-mail about this grand quixotic adventure. Three young Brazilians - journalist Richard Amante and his mates Edgar and Paulo Scherer - plan to drive a beat-up secondhand Santana all the way from Beijing to London.

They set out from the Olympic Green in Beijing 10 days ago, and are aiming to arrive in London on the 27th July - in time for the Opening Ceremony of the 30th Olympic Games. That means they'll be covering more than 20,000km and traversing at least 25 different countries in just 57 days. That doesn't leave an awful lot of time for sightseeing, much less any mechanical mishaps.

They are, of course, completely MAD. And I wish I was going with them.

You can follow their progress on their Olympic Expedition website.


Best of luck to you, Richard, Edgar, and Paulo!!! 
I hope to see you in London next month.


Unhappy update: Damn, I hope I didn't jinx these boys! I'd been worried when they hadn't updated their blog for a few days at the end of their first week... It turns out they ran into problems trying to get their car across the Chinese border - full sorry details here, a prime example of how maddeningly incompetent and obstructive Chinese bureaucracy can be!

They reluctantly left their car behind in Xinjiang, and are now seeking to continue their journey by whatever alternative modes of transport they can contrive... a bit of hitching, a bit of flying....

I am not in the least surprised by this turn of events, but very, very disappointed for the lads. Way to party-poop, China!!


Happier update: Well, I'm glad to see the lads made it to London on schedule. And they seem to have had a lot of fun along the way, despite that unfortunate early setback.


Monday, June 11, 2012

It's all about the footie

I probably shan't be blogging all that much for the next three weeks. I won't be doing anything about sorting my life out either. I am currently on an indefinite vacation... and greatly enjoying the reckless self-indulgence of that. 

Having a major football tournament on, and being able to watch it in a convenient timezone (for the first time in 10 years!), is yummy icing on an already delicious cake.

At the weekend, I launched a Euro 2012 discussion thread on my disreputable drinking blog. Please go and take a look at that if you share my passion for the game (and might like to hazard some predictions of how the various competing nations will fare).

I am feeling a - probably foolhardy! - rush of optimism about England's chances. We have the best balanced team we've put out in a decade, and finally some promising young blood coming through.

And I fancy a speculative wager on Croatia as a 'dark horse' challenger. They have been absurdly underrated by the bookmakers, and have a very good chance of making it at least as far as the semi-finals.

Anyway, I have offered more detailed prognostications over on that comment thread. Now, to get us in the mood... here is THAT Paul Gascoigne goal: the spark of genius against Scotland at Wembley that kickstarted our tournament for us when we hosted the European Championship in 1996. [Not very good picture quality; but it seems to be the only full clip available at the moment. And it will probably get removed from YouTube soon, so enjoy it while you can. Hmm, maybe I should try to find it on the - less well policed! - Chinese video-sharing site Youku instead...]


Marvellous as that goal was (I've celebrated it on here before), I think the greatest and most sustained ecstasy I have experienced in supporting England was our drubbing of the Dutch in the next game. Shearer, Sheringham and Gazza were rampant - this is the best my national team has played in my lifetime.




Come on, England!!



Thursday, March 22, 2012

Go on, Guo'an!

Last Friday night, I went to see Beijing Guo'an Football Club play their opening home game of the season against their most reviled opponents, Shanghai Shenhua. [The club's website has got much better in the last couple of years. It still doesn't have any English on it, alas; but it works reasonably well with Google Translate - I love that it labels the game venue as the "battlefield".]

The quality of the football was not that impressive on the whole (we make allowances for them not having much of a pre-season build-up, and then plunging straight into a frenetic early programme that sees them playing the opening games of the Asian Champions League alongside the domestic Chinese Super League; both teams were clearly short of match fitness and stamina), but it was a lively game; and - after an unfortunate wobble in the middle - it ended in the right result. Frankly, Shanghai were never really in the game, and if Guo'an's finishing had been more incisive, they might have come out winners by 7-0 or 8-0. As it was, goals just either side of half-time had put the home side comfortably in front, but they promptly let the visitors get back on terms by gifting them a brace within a few minutes of each other (a dumb handball on the edge of the area, quickly followed by an even dumber square pass at the back that let in the Shanghai strikers behind the defence). Fortunately, Guo'an were not too dismayed by this misfortune, and were soon steaming forward again, and could have, should have bagged three or four more goals before they finally managed to nab the clincher 10 minutes from the end. (Too much drama for one evening! It did almost feel scripted, like a professional wrestling bout. Hopefully, those days are over: there was a huge match-fixing scandal here a few years ago.)

It was a much needed win for Beijing, after they'd stumbled to a 1-2 away defeat to last season's K-League runners-up Ulsan Hyundai in their Champions League opener, and then went down 1-3 to newly promoted Guangzhou R&F in their first CSL game. This result should have given them a big lift; although a 1-1 Champions League draw against Brisbane Roar the following Monday was another disappointment. Let's hope they can get three more points from this Sunday's away game at Hangzhou, to boost them into the top third of the table.

Fans show some love for new coach, the Portuguese Jaime Pacheco 
(despite a shaky start to the season)

The traditional bad blood between China's two biggest cities is exacerbated at the moment by the fact that Australian striker Joel Griffiths, Guo'an's leading scorer for the past three seasons, traitorously declined to accept a new contract with us and departed for the hated rivals on a free transfer over the winter (we console ourselves that, at 32, he's probably past his best). He was joined up front by the notoriously selfish and ill-tempered Frenchman Nicolas Anelka (also 32, but probably still capable of shattering the scoring records at this level of football, if he can be bothered...), who is China's most expensive football import to date. Shanghai Shenhua, 75% owned by online gaming billionaire Zhu Jun, is looking set to emulate the unlovely example of Chelsea and Manchester City in the UK by seeking to secure a title with a massive spending binge. Both forwards scored (Griffiths converting the dumb penalty, and Anelka taking advantage of the even dumber back-pass), but otherwise looked fairly lacklustre. Anelka, though, had a few scary moments: he definitely has a bit more composure on the ball and more of a nose for goal than we're used to seeing in Chinese football; our defenders were a tad intimidated by him, and doubtless most other defenders in this league will be as well. It will be interesting to see if he will take this season seriously, or just go harumphing off in search of another huge signing-on fee.

My football-mad Austrian chum Andreas Laimboeck, Director of the Live the Language Mandarin school, is running a Guo'an supporters' club for his students this year, and managed to assemble a group a couple of dozen strong for the Shanghai game. He assures me that next Friday's clash against Tianjin will be even more of a grudge match (it's only 80 miles or so down the road, so it counts as a local derby)... but I'm not sure if I can take that much excitement again quite so soon. It's an unfortunate quirk of scheduling that two of the most important - or at any rate the most emotive - games for Beijing fans are coming back-to-back, right at the start of the season.

I could yet be tempted, though... I'd forgotten how exhilarating live football can be! Even if the quality of play isn't that wonderful, it's the atmosphere of the event that makes it special; and Guo'an are now drawing some big and extremely vociferous crowds (everyone stands throughout; and shouts almost continuously; and vuvuzelas have become very popular since the last World Cup). I hadn't been to a game here since before the Olympics. And, in my early years in Beijing, Guo'an games were relatively poorly attended. In the last few years, they've started pulling in some HUGE crowds. For the really big games like Shanghai and Tianjin they're managing to completely sell out the stadium, which was unheard of until quite recently (Gongti, the Workers Stadium, has an official capacity of 66,000). Unfortunately, this means that the piao fanzi (touts, scalpers) are having a field day; tickets are becoming hard to get hold of through regular channels, and - for "sold out" games - are changing hands for two or three times their face value (even on Taobao, the online shopping forum that usually produces the best bargains to be had on anything).

I think I'll definitely go to another game or two at some point this year... but perhaps not until the climax of the season. Since this is likely to be my last year in Beijing, I would like to see my 'home side' claim the championship again. (They've only managed it once in the eight previous seasons of the Super League, in 2009.)



Three final plugs...

Plug 1:  There's a new sports shop recently opened on Gulou Dongdajie, a couple of hundred yards west from the north end of Nanluoguxiang. I doubt if it's an officially licensed supporters' shop, and its Guo'an kit might well be shanzhai; but it seems to be very good quality (much better than most of the stuff the street vendors are hawking around the Stadium on match days), and is less than half of the price of the official Gongti store.

Plug 2:  The best place to follow Guo'an news in English is the football blog Wild East Football.

Plug 3:  If you fancy going to a game with a big group of laowai, drop Andreas a line and he'll try and get you tickets so you can join up with his Live the Language students. I think he's hoping to go to every game this season. 



And two footnotes...

Footnote 1:  There's a rundown of team news for all the clubs in the Chinese Super League at the start of the new season on the Time Out Beijing website here, and lots of information about the current Guo'an squad on Wikipedia here.

Footnote 2:  I'm curious as to why Guo'an games have developed such a big fan following lately. The Wikipedia page on the history of the CSL shows that their average attendance was a paltry 10,864 in 2004, the first year of the new league, and only 14,641 in 2008. Last year it had soared to 40,397; and this year looks set to be even higher - at least if we can mount a decent title challenge. Winning the championship in 2009 was obviously a big boost. I suspect the opening up of so many new subway lines in the last few years, making the city centre more accessible to the distant suburbs, has made a contribution too. I also wonder about the impact of the period of exile, when Guo'an was banished to Fengtai, a district far to the south-west of the city, for a couple of years while the Workers Stadium was undergoing renovations for use as an Olympic football venue. I think the return to their traditional home must have been a great relief to the original fan base (who may not have been able to get out to Fengtai very often), and probably lifted attendance in the first few months of the '09 season. However, I wonder if Guo'an didn't build up a new body of supporters in Fengtai, who now trek into the city to watch them. And whatever happened to Beijing Bird? There used to be a second Beijing football team, but I haven't heard anything of them in some years now, and I suspect they've been wound up (couldn't find anything about them in a brief Google search just now; obviously a job for Baidu!); it's possible that Guo'an has inherited their supporters as well. To go from 10,000 supporters to 40,000 in six or seven years is pretty remarkable, even in everything gets bigger very quickly all the time China.


Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I wish I could still do that

My online peregrinations recently chanced upon Joe Eigo, a young Canadian fitness trainer and film stuntman (who has worked with Jackie Chan). He has combined his original training in gymnastics and tumbling with elements of martial arts, le parkour, and breakdancing to produce a new freestyle genre he calls 'multi-level moves'. It is quite spectacular and, er, gravity-defying.

There are a lot of videos of him doing his stuff on YouTube, but this one below seems to be the most definitive demonstration. Of course, during my days at the Shaolin Temple, running up trees, peforming a dozen backflips on the spot, and bicycle-kicking footballs 10ft off the ground were routine amusements for the young monks and me at the end of a long day's training. But there are a few things Mr Eigo does here which seem to be pushing beyond the boundaries of the very difficult into the outright impossible. There's a stunt in the middle of this compilation where I'd swear he appears to accomplish a radical shift in speed and direction in mid-air, to pause and hover for a split-second.

But can you run barefoot up a steep mountain path while balancing a big rock on your head, Mr Eigo? No? I thought not. Lightweight!



Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Chinese sports TV just keeps getting WORSE...

I have written on here a few times before about how much I love tennis, and especially the Wimbledon Championships.

I have written even more often of how gob-smackingly terrible the sports coverage is on this country's main national TV sports channel, CCTV5 (in theory, it stands for 'China Central Television'; but Chinese friends joke that it should be 'China CRAP Television').


Well, this year, CCTV5 didn't seem to be showing any coverage of Wimbledon at all. There were far too many China-friendly sports going on like, er, badminton... and volleyball... and cycling... and ping-pong, of course... and, er, basketball.

I suppose there must have been some coverage of Li Na's advance to the Ladies' Quarter-Finals, but I managed to miss it all.

BTV6 - the sports channel of the Beijing television service, which seems to have attained a national eminence equal to or greater than CCTV's - appeared to have been carrying most of the Wimbledon coverage this year; but I didn't find that out until the final weekend. And I'm not sure that they showed much of the earlier rounds.

Still, at least I got to see the Men's Final between Djokovic and Nadal live.


And on Monday morning, enjoying an unexpected bit of free time at home before heading out to an afternoon class, I happened to switch on the TV just after they'd started showing a re-run of the Ladies' Final between Petra Kvitova and Maria Sharapova. I enjoyed a full, uninterrupted two-game sequence, and I was foolishly starting to hope that they were showing the match in full, and as live.

No. At the next rest break they went into a series of advertisements. A long series of advertisements (well, mostly it was the same two- or three-minute sequence endlessly repeated). It dragged on for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, getting on for 15 minutes. It began to seem unlikely that they were ever going to return to the match at all. And I certainly didn't have the patience to wait around to see if they did, while watching the same ludicrous, annoying ads over and over and over again. I went off to potter around on the computer.

I returned to the TV about 40 minutes later, by which time, even if Sharapova's resistance fell apart - as I gather it rather did - and even if there had been no further bumper ad breaks, I would have expected the match to be still some way short of the climax of the second and final set. BTV6 was now showing a golf tournament (I couldn't work out which one). I can only conclude that they showed only a few brief highlights of the Ladies' Final, three or four of the biggest games. And in a ratio of 40% tennis action to 60% advertisements.



TV sports coverage in this country SUCKS beyond belief!