List of the Month - oblique introductions

I am very shy about advertising the existence of my silly little blogs to anyone. But if my 'guilty secret' is exposed in conversation, I will occasionally reveal the names of the blogs to someone who really strikes me as likely to be interested in reading them (i.e., someone similarly irreverent and brain-overfull). The trouble is, it is a bit laborious to write out the full URLs for someone; and, if writing materials are not to hand, they can be difficult to remember. My 'boozing blog', in particular, causes difficulties, because it is familiarly known to my friends and me as The Barstool, but its full title is the rather ponderous Round-The-World Barstool Blues, and its URL - thanks to a mysterious lack of 'availability' of the name I'd originally chosen on Blogger - is actually the bar prop. So... I've taken to introducing my blog(s) to people by giving them a memorable phrase that will almost certainly lead them to me via Google. Just the other day, I told a friend to try to find me by searching for Froog+Zelig.

I am such an eccentrically creative fellow that unusual - perhaps occasionally even unique - phrases are fairly numerous in my online writing. Hence, I thought this might be an amusing topic for my new 'List of the Month'.

Google Searches That Will Bring You To My Blog(s)

obscene paperclip sculpture

mojito trough

mumbling Myrmidons (originally a Googlewhack, I believe)

Mescaline Milkshakes (yes, one of long-time commenter Gary's many brilliant band name suggestions)

Zhongnanhai hair tonic orgies

service with a surl

omnibus analogy

Condoleezza Shinork (likewise a Googlewhack - though scarcely legitimate, since it involves two rare personal names improbably combined)

unshaviness suits a writer  (this phrase an invention of my lovely photographer friend Amy)

with impecunity

the foreskin post  (ouch! one of my most notorious flights of fancy)

Y-front rebellion  (another of the band name game highlights)

the sound of minds boggling

panda pornographers

and, of course, Asexualismo and Asexualissimo

and sporadic advance of relevance (which probably describes my blogs rather too well)

but my very favourite of all is...  Jello Biafra cut my hair

[Sadly, though, my invention of the word limelessness is still going unrecognised by Google.]



With some of these, I'm not quite at the top of the returns, but prominent on the first page. And with most of them, there are three - or four, or five - posts listed (three, as we know, is a magic number): you'll have to use your skill and judgement to identify the original source of the key phrase.

And I suppose this post will itself soon become the No. 1 search result for most of these phrases. This doesn't help my Googlewhackiness (surely that can't be another original invention of my own? It seems it is!). But then, that is a problem inherent in the concept: as soon as you say, "Hey, this is a Googlewhack", it no longer is.