Monday, June 16, 2008

More annoyingly daft things Chinese teacher-employers do

There is a theory starting to be touted amongst the dwindling number of teachers that remain that we might actually be able to command increased rates over the next few months because of the sudden imbalance between supply and demand. Whenever anyone says this to me, I snort out of my nose.

Chinese teaching institutions have a long and ignoble history of a) not giving a damn about teaching quality, b) not giving a damn about student outcomes, c) not giving a damn even about the long-term viability of their school, d) not giving a damn about teacher qualifications, and, of course, e) never wanting to pay more than the absolute minimum they can get away with (and, if at all possible, short-changing even on the meagre pay they have initially agreed).

I don't see any reason why that is likely to change. There are plenty of dumb, naive teachers over here who are willing to take whatever they're offered without attempting to negotiate. There are plenty of people over here who will almost work for free - because they "love China" (which, in practice, tends to mean that they are retired or semi-retired or have a comfortable private income - and some ulterior motive for being here, which, as often as not, at least amongst our American brethren, involves surreptitiously spreading the word of Jesus). And then, of course, there's a never-ending supply of tourists/backpackers/beachbums/starving artists/whatever who will happily substitute for proper teachers in order to earn a little extra beer or bong money. And, as a last resort, I think most Chinese schools I've encountered would be quite happy to close their doors for a few months rather than pay foreign teachers a decent salary for once. Either that, or they'll try to stay open using entirely local Chinese teachers (no doubt protesting to their disgruntled students that Ms Li and Mr Wang are in fact Canadian Chinese, native English speakers, really....).

Am I a cynic? With reason!


Recent examples of things that have completely got my goat.

1) I am asked to do some 1-to-1 private tuition - for 130 RMB per hour! The lowest fee anyone ever gets for English teaching out here - even for bog-standard classroom teaching, which is usually much easier (and much more reliable in terms of income stream; private students always cancel or reschedule classes all over the place, and only pay you for the handful of sessions where they deign to turn up) - is 150 RMB per hour. 1-to-1 stuff is usually at least 200, if not 250. I don't usually get out of bed for less than 300. Yawn. Next!

2) I am asked to do a promotional event for a Chinese educational publisher. They want me to "entertain" a mass audience of senior citizens with a 'baby steps' lesson on - what else? - The Olympics. "Do you have any materials to use for this?" I ask. "No. We thought you could improvise something." Yeah, right. For 90 minutes! Sigh.

3) I am asked to take on a business English gig over the summer months. The pay isn't at all bad, but it's a horribly designed, utterly pointless course ("Spoken English" for a massive class of oil engineers, most of whom, I'm sure, - I know, from bitter previous experience - will barely be able to enunciate a single syllable). Ah yes, and they're planning to run it right through the Olympics; the final class will probably be at the same time as the Olympic Closing Ceremony (I did gently point out that it's extremely unlikely that any of the students will show up for that class). Oh, and it's about 80 miles out of town. Would they be providing a driver, I asked. No, no, that would be too much trouble, I was told. I could take the train, they suggested; there was one every 30 or 40 minutes. Well, that's nice. If the train times don't happen to fit with the teaching schedule too snugly, this could add another 1 or 1.5 hours to the already horrendous travelling schedule. Let's think about this: even if the trains do leave at an ideal time.... Hmmm - walk to subway, 10 minutes; wait for train - on a Sunday - possibly 8 or 10 minutes or more; subway to Beijing train station, 20 minutes; walk from subway to train station (clear security check, fight through crowded concourse, identify platform, etc.), 10-20 minutes; board train at least 10 minutes before departure....... So, I've probably spent at least an hour in transit before I even leave Beijing. I think, if I had a chauffeur-driven ride, I could be at least half-way to the venue in that time. Hence, that would be another NO, then.


The penny-pinching, incompetence, and sheer stupidity of these people does get me rather depressed at times. Very, very depressed, in fact.

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