Friday, February 22, 2008

Train-lag haiku

Rumble and rattle,
Constant clatter denies sleep:
Overnight train journey.

And yes, I know the syllable count is off in the last line. I could blame the fact that I am so goddamned tired right now. Or I could just say that it sounds right to me.

Of course, it would be easy to fix it by changing the line to something like 'Long night's journey' - but I am obstinately attached to my first thoughts, even if they do lead me into a rare flouting of the rules.


moonrat said...

at least you're a conscientious (sp?) haiku-er. a lot of people let it be a free-for-all short poem. i want to be like, listen people!! there are RULES here!!

Froog said...

No, that just doesn't work, does it? I was shown a book of so-called 'haiku' by a friend of a friend a while back and..... well, some of them were interesting in their way, but they just weren't haiku. Some of them had four lines, for heaven's sake.