Saturday, January 26, 2008

Shame, resentment, hesitation

I mentioned in 'the other place' a week ago that I had entered one of my haiku in a competition to try to win a bottle of vodka. Yes, I'm that poor this month.

I have just learned that I did not win. Not even one of the runner-up prizes. And this despite the fact that two of the judges were acquaintances of mine (although it was all done anonymously, and I didn't do any illicit lobbying, of course). For a 'professional' haiku writer (well, you know, someone who writes them every week, sometimes nearly every day), this is rather humiliating. Annoying, actually. (I am piqued also that I only found out the results by checking on the organiser's blog; piqued that he didn't even bother to acknowledge receipt of the submission, let alone notify us of the results [it's not like he had that many entries!]; and piqued that he published my submissions without asking, and under my real name at that.) Although, in a way, I am relieved, because I will not now have to labour under any sense of "thank you for the vodka" obligation to this guy - who I find rather irritating and almost completely talentless.

However, this mild assault to the ego does add to my nervousness in confronting the Moonrat challenge. I have knocked off a couple of entries, but they are not quite what I would wish. And being told you suck by someone you like and respect is a little harder to bear. Dither, dither.


moonrat said...

moonrat only tells mean people they suck. so that seems highly unlikely in this case.

i'm so excited! i've made myself not open any entries until midnight so i don't predispose myself or anything. SO excited.

Froog said...

Well, I can be mean sometimes - but only to those that deserve it.

Be gentle with me, Moonie. My emotions have been taking a bit of a pounding of late.

Hope you enjoy your weekend of judging!