Chinese people LOVE me! (13)

"Chinese people love me because...... I always remember to leave some food on the plate."

This goes very much against my natural inclinations. My parents grew up during the days of austerity in the Second World War and were thus pretty fanatical during my upbringing about not wasting food; and, while I don't like to be too fanatical about anything, that's always seemed like a pretty sensible policy to me. But here in the Orient, there is a powerful cultural belief that finishing all the food implies that you are still hungry and that therefore your hosts have not served you well enough; to prove that you couldn't eat another thing, you must always leave some food on the dishes.

When dining alone or with foreign friends, we're not too likely to bother about this, just for the sake of sparing the restaurant owner's feelings (although it's pretty hard to under-order in a Chinese restaurant!); but when out with Chinese friends, especially when they're paying (having dinner at people's homes just never seems to happen in Beijing; it's such a restaurant culture here), it is vital good manners to leave food unfinished to show your appreciation.

This curious custom is probably well-known, even to many people who haven't worked or travelled here; but I think it's always worth trying to maintain a high level of self-awareness about things like this. If we allow them to become too internalised, too reflexive, there is a danger we may start using them inappropriately; perhaps too there is a danger that they may start displacing the 'cultural reflexes' of our native culture - and, however long I stay here, I don't want to become Sinicized, thank you very much.

Lately I have been brooding on what I might do with regard to this eating convention if there were an unfamiliar collision between the private and the public spheres - if, for instance, I started dating a Chinese girl (or got a Chinese flatmate). If we were eating on our own together, whether at home or in a restaurant (but especially at home, of course, and especially if they'd done the cooking), would I be feeling all awkward and uncertain about how much of the food I should eat?? "Er, it is OK if I have this last dumpling, is it? You're sure you don't mind?"