Consolations: 12 reasons I'm better off without that job

1) The pay was lousy.

I mean, really insulting. Most of the old college buddies I discussed it with during the summer were guestimating I'd be on up to 6 or 8 times as much. OK, some of them are completely out of touch with reality (that's why I love you, Dr P), but...... I learned at that time that the average starting salary for a graduate in the UK these days is well in excess even of what my salary would have been on a full-time basis, nearly twice what I was actually making for my 3 (or so) days a week. I know 'local hires' always get screwed, but really - for someone of my experience, and with the huge responsibilities of the role (with a crucial 'business development' dimension in a key new market: the whole of East Asia!), it was a pretty bloody contemptuously paltry remuneration. And significantly less than I had been earning from my bits-and-pieces of freelancing earlier in the year. From the financial point of view, it should be quite easy to say good riddance!

2) My immediate 'line manager' bugged the crap out of me.

Not that they were a bad person, or bad at their job particularly (non-ideal in some ways, but not at all terrible) - it was just a personality-grate:
their accent/tone of voice/manner/opinions/decisions invariably acted upon my psyche as the scraping of fingernails down a blackboard.

3) It was office-based.

Offices and I do not get along. I hated my desk, my computer, my chair, the neon strip-lights, the tinted windows, the fact that I could fail to notice what the weather was like outside for the entire fucking day.....

4) It was a 'teamwork' culture.

And I am, I confess, ultimately more of a 'loner'. Oh, I'm also 'a people person'. I like to get along with co-workers. And I enjoy co-operating with them one-to-one..... when it's actually necessary, and when we actually get something done. But having to put in half a day of "please" and "thank you" and fucking ego-massage every time you need to send an e-mail? Christ! No thank you.

5) It involved a lot of business travel.

And business travel is never much fun. In China in particular, it can easily degenerate into a slice of hell-on-earth. Better off without all of that.


6) Our Chinese partners are all dipshits.

Really. ALL of them. There's a spectrum, of course: it runs from "shouldn't trust these people as far as I can spit" to "nice, bright, sincere, enthusiastic people - who haven't got a fucking clue what they're doing". In a good-natured parting meeting with the boss this morning, I shared with him this little riddle, a bitterly jesting observation of many teachers I know who've spent more than a couple of years here: "What's wrong with the education business in China?" "Everything!"


7) It required a rush-hour commute into the CBD by Subway.

That's not fun in any city in the world. In Beijing...... it saps the will to live.

8) It was a long working day.

We were supposed to be in before 9am every day - just to set a good example to our Chinese staff (most of whom don't show up until at least 9.30 or 10!), just to show willing in case our Chinese partners wanted to contact us by telephone early in the day (they never did!). We were supposed to stay until at least 6pm every evening - just to give the UK office an opportunity to communicate with us (again, they hardly ever did). Last-minute shit had a habit of cropping up, which would tie you down until 7pm. And there was nowhere decent to have lunch in the vicinity, so I'd often stay in the office the whole time. That was a long fucking day!!! And 90% of the work I could have handled better from home.....

9) I had no autonomy.

No authority. No clearly-defined status, in fact. My line manager's job had grown unmanageably large, so I had been drafted in to pick up the overspill. But what that 'overspill' consisted of was largely down to their whim - and I couldn't do anything without referring to them. It was, really, a wretched skivvying role.


10) I had no real prospects there.

Even my 'superiors' aren't being that well paid, and they have years of seniority on me. It's a miserly little company. It's unlikely that I could ever have risen to a senior management position with them; and even more unlikely that they would have paid me what I think I deserve, even if I had. Better off without them.....


11) I'm never going to 'get rich' working for someone else.

Certainly not those jokers. Not that I really want to be rich..... but I'd like to stop being POOR.


12) It was consuming too much of my time.

The long days, the frequent travelling, the fact that I was (voluntarily!) doing additional paperwork and e-mailing on my "days off" - it was biting a huge chunk out of my week. Most of my previous lucrative freelance work has fallen by the wayside since I started with them. My jogging routine has faltered too. And it really wouldn't have been good for my prospects of forging any new romantic partnership to be 'on the road' two weeks out of every four.

Are you convinced yet?? I very nearly am.....