My friend Ann in Scotland recently e-mailed me this - something of an old chestnut, but with a few new twists.
The basic model is this. There are some additions I'll post over the coming days.
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Any other favourites you'd like to add?
2 comments:
ENRON VENTURE COWPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells, the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet is required as this is all industry practice.
The public buys your bull.
Hi Livy, haven't heard from you in a while! All that globetrotting!!
Yes, the 'Enron' variant was on the list I just got sent. I'll be adding the others in due course - just didn't want to devote one HUGE post to this.
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