Saturday, February 18, 2012

My Fantasy Girlfriend - sexy biker chick (mannequin)

I'm not getting out enough lately. And, odd as this may seem, when I'm not encountering any (even remotely) potential real-life girlfriends, my libido - indolent at the best of times - pretty well shuts down completely: I don't even find myself reminiscing and fantasising about lost loves and unattainable beauties any more.

However, I had a neat idea for this month's 'Fantasy Girlfriend' post: the one female figure to catch my eye in the past month or two has been the rather svelte (and red-haired!) shop-window dummy in the sex shop just down the road.  For the past few weeks, she's been all studs and leather - tight-fitting jacket, very tight-fitting skirt, and a leather cap. Quite an appealing look, I find.

But... I wanted to get a picture for you; and that proved a gumption test too far (A little throwaway motorcycling allusion for you there!).  The sun reflecting on the shop window made it impossible to get a decent shot of her from outside (I began to suspect that they'd treated the glass in some way, to confound the cheapskates like me who wanted to try to derive some pleasure from their merchandise without actually making a purchase).  And I was, of course, much too shy to go inside the shop and ask if I could take a picture (or to snap and run!!).

In any case, she has recently been re-costumed: she's much more demurely - or, at any rate, more conventionally - attired now in a skimpy cocktail dress. The allure has waned.

But I shall always have fond memories of her biker chick period.

[I couldn't help but be reminded of the occasion of the most profound sexual embarrassment I have suffered in China (other than in bed, of course...).  I once found myself taking a cab in the far south-west of Beijing, an area where few laowai ever ventured, and where the drivers were even more aggressive/psychotic than we are used to in the city centre. My driver for this trip was unduly excited about having a foreigner in his passenger seat, and became extremely talkative. I played along at first, because he seemed quite a jolly fellow. But he soon became relentlessly inquisitorial about my love life: did I have a girlfriend? what kind of girls did I like? I wasn't gay, was I? so, what kind of girls did I like? did I like Chinese girls? which part of China did I think produced the best girls?... and on and on and on. I made the mistake of trying to terminate the conversation by mentioning that I had recently started going out with an American girl.

He shook his head sadly. He felt obliged to demonstrate to me why this was a misguided choice. He rummaged under his dash for something, pulled out a very well-thumbed pack of playing cards with nude pictures of Chinese girls on them. He proceeded to show me most of the deck, commenting in detail on each girl's assets, and challenging me to guess where she was from; and then laboriously explaining to me how I should have been able to tell.  ("Such a long neck! Probably a Manchu girl. Oh, she has tits!  Must be from the north." etc., etc., etc.)  And he was still driving through heavy traffic the while, although looking almost exclusively at me or his mucky playing cards.

It was on this day that I determined not merely to give up any further attempt to study Chinese, but to assiduously endeavour to unlearn the little that I then knew.]


JES said...

You may be interested in the photos of biker chicks (non-mannequin) posted recently at The Selvedge Yard. They're in black-and-white, but maybe you can imagine copper tresses in place of certain shades of gray.

I can't remember how I came across The Selvedge Yard in the first (fairly recent) place. It (and another blog of his which I haven't visited), says the About page, "are about all the things that interest me -- a menswear product, presentation & branding guy with a passion for people, places, things & ideas of enduring heritage, quality, authenticity & character. But I'm not all old school all the time -- I appreciate innovation & technology in all things." Maybe it's the general "heritage, quality, authenticity & character" bit, because his topics often aren't ones I'd seek out.

...Looking back through his posts of recent months, I believe the one which must have first caught my eye is the one about the bizarro Bing Crosby/David Bowie "Little Drummer Boy" duet. Which led me to one about Bing Crosby and his fondness for denim. And THEN, I'm pretty sure, I saw the reference in his sidebar to a popular post of his called "Vintage Playboy: The Language of Legs/The Stuff of Male Sexual Delusions." ....

...Er, where was I? Oh, right. I think you might like a visit to The Selvedge Yard. (His most recent post is about the shuttering last year of a popular bar in San Francisco.) I can't remember your expressing an interest in cars and Harleys and such, let alone men's clothing. I don't have much interest in those things, I know. But I do like dropping into the place. (So far haven't worked up the nerve to comment, though.)

And speaking of nerve, one of my favorite things about this post of yours is the picture it paints in my head of a furtive Froog, perhaps in disguise, trying to snap a pic of this young lady.

Gary said...

Great story! I think we've all had that experience with a cab driver. Well - maybe without the deck of cards!

Must go check out this blog JES found.

Froog said...

Ah, Mr Selvedge - he does have some interesting stuff, doesn't he?

Was he the guy that had that long article on Stax Records?

Gary, I still get cold sweats when I think of that driver. Very pushy, very pervey - and very dangerous on the roads.

JES said...

Yes -- that's the one (Selvedge Yard/Stax records post)!