In addition to all my other problems with work hassles and Net censorship persecution.... last Thursday morning I was awoken by a strange, dull ache just under my lower left front ribcage. I didn't give it too much thought at first. It felt like a muscular problem, a stitch. It seemed odd that I would have a stitch when I hadn't been exercising, but....
It didn't go away. And, as tends to happen with unfamiliar, unexpected, unwelcome things that are suddenly a constant presence in one's life, I began to pay more attention to it - rather too much attention, really; I admit it's become something of an obsession over these last few days. I find myself morbidly fascinated by it, constantly trying to analyse it, categorise it, map whether the pain is moving or changing or spreading.
It began as a 'stitch', but instead of being intermittent, it is constant; and instead of slowly getting better, it has got rather worse. It's still perhaps not really acute enough to warrant the name 'pain', but it is a very bothersome discomfort.
I am now paying so much attention to the sensations in my abdomen that there is a danger I'm imagining things, or at any rate of exaggerating the possible significance of things that are in fact utterly unimportant. For instance, I feel as though my stomach - just below my ribs - is swollen, and the muscles across it feel tight. I look at my belly and fancy occasionally that I can see it bulging unnaturally; but then I look again and it appears just as it ever did. This odd feeling of 'fullness' in my belly has deranged my appetite, robbed me of any desire to eat; and yet I can eat without any difficulty.... so perhaps it's all in the mind? And perhaps the general feeling of unease in my abdomen, and the occasional ever-so-slight twinges elsewhere in my stomach and lower back are also mere mental phantoms, pesky agents of hypochondriac self-torture.
Fearing, however, that this might perhaps be an early indicator of a grumbly appendix, I conducted a self-examination of my abdomen, prodding here and there to check for any sign of swelling or undue sensitivity or rebound tenderness. I was reassured by this exercise: I could find no hint of anything untoward.... anywhere in the lower abdomen. However, I was surprised - and alarmed - to discover that, although I have little or no awareness of any discomfort there most of the time (though now I've started attending to it, I fancy I detect just a little 'stiffness', similar to the original ache in my side), the area around my solar plexus is acutely sensitive to touch (a sharp, sore sensation when I apply pressure, followed by a lingering ache for several minutes afterwards).
I've done some digging around on the Internet, and find that there are quite a lot of discussion forums reporting symptoms exactly like these - and there doesn't seem to be any suggestion that they are the result of anything serious. Then again, people generally only seek this kind of outlet for their anxieties when their doctors are confounded by their symptoms, so I'm not sure that I can take much comfort from this. And perhaps these people are mostly just hypochondriacs - whereas I really am ill.
Ill and scared.
Ill and scared and too poor to get medical help.
Well, too poor, and also too distrustful of the medical profession. On the handful of occasions in my life when I've had some health problem I considered serious enough to take to a doctor (nine times out of ten I just self-medicate), my condition has been categorised - every single time - as 'idiopathic'.... doctor-speak for "We don't know what it is."
I am reluctant to put myself through that frustration again. Particularly here in China (I wouldn't trust a Chinese hospital as far as I could spit; and a foreign hospital could very quickly wipe out my life savings).
But if it doesn't resolve of its own accord in a couple of weeks, I fear I'll have to fly back to the UK to try to get some free treatment on the NHS.
"They muttered as they took their fees, there is no name for this disease."
5 comments:
Can't be too careful, Froog, especially with Beijing's air being home to more trace elements than you can shake a stick at.
I suffered occasional twinges when I was in China (a particularly sharp, pulsing, lower abdominal thing the worst of them), and was similarly concerned about letting local hospitals dig around while relieving me of my cash. As you say, simply not to be trusted - not unless employers/friends know someone who knows someone.
The internet is a great source of information at such times. Oftentimes it's relatively easy to narrow down symptoms to one or two possibilities, and then take the necessary measures/medication to put things right.
The kind of dull, rhythmic aches you describe can be worrisome. I think you're doing the right thing - find out what you can and monitor closely for a couple of weeks. If there's no improvement - or worsening - in that time frame, then hang the expense and nip back to the UK to get it checked out.
Either that or speak to a few trusted associates to see if they know anyone. The problem with Chinese healthcare is not one of competence, generally speaking, but the mercantilist, uncaring approach of practitioners towards all those outside their inner circle.
Anyway, take it easy, Froog, and let's hope it goes away as quickly and unexpectedly as it came.
Thanks for the concern, Stuart.
Actually, I never said anything about the pain being "rhythmic" - that sounds like you were recalling your own experience. I hope that turned out to be nothing too serious.
It's not just the overcrowding of Chinese hospitals and their money-grubbing mentality that bothers me. Given the fairly low esteem (and pay) that practitioners of Western-style medicine get (and given the general lamentable condition of the tertiary education system here), even the handful of 'good' doctors (good either morally or technically) are really pretty piss-poor. And the majority of them are more likely to kill you than cure you. I've taught a few doctors here, and.... well, nice enough guys, but when they spoke about their training and their experience, it did not inspire confidence.
Not that I think that much more highly of doctors anywhere else. My brother (definitely) and my father (probably) were killed at least partly by medical incompetence back in the UK. Which is why I prefer to take my chances with treasure chest of potent medicines.
Likeliest - or least worrying - possibility seems to be that it's an irritation of the diaphragm, caused either mechanically (strained a muscle twisting in bed or coughing or something; or it's started rubbing on the rib somehow) or pathogenically (apparently there are various weird viruses that can cause this kind of myalgia).
After that, though, I fear it could be one of my internal organs has become massively enlarged. Spleen is a worry, but I suppose - given that I've been a moderately heavy drinker for 30 years now - that liver has to be the chief suspect. Again, some of the causes of this can be relatively short-term and innocuous. But most of them are cancers of some form.
There, I said it. I've been scared stupid for the past week, but I seem to be calming down a bit at last.
The pain still isn't going away, though.
uh oh. you've scared me here. what a terrible feeling, not to have a doctor you trust at a time like this... i hope you are able to get yourself checked by someone who can help soon.
Actually, I never said anything about the pain being "rhythmic" - that sounds like you were recalling your own experience.
Yes, you're right. I self-diagnosed a small stone on account of the highly calcified water/milk in my diet. Either way it literally doubled me up in agony a couple of times out of nowhere. I switched water to purified, non-mineralized, drank plenty of it, and cut down on calcium-rich foods. Have no idea if the diagnosis was correct, but the pain abated, then disappeared.
Fingers crossed for a similar outcome to your current ailment, Froog.
I'd have hated the idea of a Chinese hospital poking around inside my lower abdomen and charging me for the privilege, partly because I'd have always questioned whether there was really an issue that justified surgery. On the one occasion I did go under the knife in China (to have pins inserted in a fractured elbow), the evidence - and necessity - was clearcut. They did a good job, too.
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