Monday, December 06, 2010

More unfathomably bad Chinese design

I found some plastic bottles of fruit juice taped together for a two-for-one special deal when I went into my local supermarket last week.  I suspected that they were close to or beyond their expiry date, but I wasn't too concerned about that.  And it's a brand I've tried before, found to be fairly good (as far as the local products go, which - in the field of fruit juices and soft drinks - is, unfortunately, very faint praise indeed).  So, I bought two of the double-packs.... and set off home to discover what was wrong with them.

Answer: the caps.  THEY WOULD NOT OPEN. No, not just a case of them being a bit stiff; or of needing to slit the ties to the anti-tamper seal with a knife (tried that - to no avail).  No, these sons-of-bitches were somehow fused solid to the bottle tops.  I gouged a groove in the palm of hand trying to twist the buggers off.  I tried pouring hot water over them - no help.  I couldn't even budge them taking a secure grip with a pair of pliers.  Rock solid.

Remarkable, really.  I have no idea how they achieved this.

I had to stab a hole through the top of the cap with a screwdriver.


(And then the orange juice wasn't very nice: altogether more sugar and articial colourings and minimal involvement of actual fruit than I thought I remembered from my previous experiences of the brand.  Oh well.)

5 comments:

JES said...

Haha -- you'll probably be tempted to delete "Hosting's" comment as obvious spam (I certainly would be), but it seems weirdly relevant. Because, y'know, most people who find it hard to open a plastic bottle, even injuring themselves in the process (with a screwdriver!) -- most such people will just not spend the time to tell us about it.

That's practically a commentary on blogging in general right there.

I wonder what the marketing value of such a sentiment might be for someone selling Web-hosting services? "Don't bother contacting us unless you're really serious about helping people"?

Anyway, to your real point: I hate difficult packaging, accidental or otherwise. The accidental sort at least has a certain charm (however frustrating!), after you've dealt with the deliberately infernal clear-plastic-shell packaging that wraps so much stuff on the shelves. Classic case of making 99% of everyone's life difficult in order to specifically frustrate the 1% who "threaten" your company somehow.

Froog said...

Hmm, WEIRD. I have a couple of comments on this in my e-mail Inbox, but.... they haven't showed up on the site yet. WTF?

Anonymous said...

Do you know what I find most amusing about this post? And in a good way, I suppose. I would never have taken you to be a gambler from the little bit I've read here, but this post shows a side to you that likes to take the gamble. You knew there was something awry with the drinks, but the risk was worth taking for a "2-fer" deal.

And then for the caps to be fused...CLASSIC. The imagery of EFFORT...pay less, try harder...I don't know what specifically about this tickles me to no end, but it does.

Froog said...

I like to say, I don't gamble, I invest.

I am resistant - not immune, but resistant - to the thrill of uncertainty, and I certainly take no pleasure in losing money; but I do like the mental challenge of examining a situation, trying to reach an understanding of it, and trying to predict the likeliest outcome. And then, occasionally, backing my prediction with a small wager.

I love backgammon, like poker (wish I was better at it), rarely go near the horses.

Glad you enjoyed this, CW.

Anonymous said...

Invest, Shmest! That's just a circumspect way to spell G-A-M-B-L-E. But gamble sounds so callow whereas invest sounds much more mature. <--- can you tell I am poking fun? If not, let me be plain: "I am poking fun!"

In the tiny corner of your blog I've read, you have this careful and detailed way of describing your world. And when I say "careful" I don't mean cautious so much as deliberate. So your resistance to "the thrill of uncertainty" is not surprising. That is precisely why I like this post so much. You invested and that speculative behavior cost you a lot of effort though not much money.

Froog, did you drink all the bottles of orange juice?