I have a distaste for raw dough that borders on a phobia. There are so many things that can go wrong with it - things that seem so mysterious, unknowable, uncontrollable.
And it gets everywhere. I hate the messiness of it. I think I always did, even in childhood cooking lessons - when messiness was supposed to be part of the appeal.
Making dough is particularly problematical here in Beijing. Chinese kitchens are invariably tiny (most Chinese cooking doesn't require much prep work apart from a lot of chopping - something which can be done just as well in front of the TV in your living room, or sitting on the stoop outside talking to your neighbours); my kitchen has about 18 inches of workspace between the gas burners and the sink - and it's bigger than a lot I've seen. Just about nobody bakes anything here, and very few people even have an oven (I do, but it's not a very good one: one of those "portable" electric ones - not very big or very hot). Because of this, it's very hard to get baking equipment or ingredients, even at the foreigner-oriented supermarkets (I couldn't even find a sieve!).
I tried to confront and defeat my deep-seated anxieties about this department of cookery last week in preparing for my housewarming party - but I got my ass whooped. Well, I did eventually manage to crank out some savoury 'Johnny Cakes' (a very simple kind of flat scone - classic 'poor people food' from the Caribbean; I was pursuing a Jamaican theme in honour of Bob Marley's birthday); but TWO attempts to produce a shortcrust pastry (and yes, I did look everywhere to try and find some readymade, but no joy!) for some Jamaican-style meat patties were thwarted - in the most frustrating and messy manner possible. I'm not sure what I screwed up (I suspect the recipe may have been at fault), but both times the dough turned out far too sticky and completely unworkable. Gggrrrrr. (At least the spiced mince filling I made for them was good; but we had to eat it off slices of plain white bread, because of my sorry inability to make mini piecrusts.)
In my mental review of possible new careers, I think I very definitely have to cross 'baker' off the list. And probably 'chef' too. And anything involved with the F&B industry, really. Or, indeed, with any kind of creative endeavour. My temperament is too depressive: setbacks and failures bring my spirits down far more than successes can lift them. That's why I should steer clear of pastry from now on.
2 comments:
For me kneading raw dough and baking bread is best done in a breadmaker machine. Yes, I know, it is decadent and a splurge, but you can set it at night. It comes on at 03:00am and you think your kitchen has been invaded my space aliens. At 07:00 you awake to the fresh baked smell of bread.
You throw the ingredients into the machine in the order stated in the recipe, set the machine and you're done. Fresh yeast is important. No touching of raw dough. Raw dough looks much better as fresh and steaming baked bread.
The breadmaker will also knead the dough for you, if you wish, so you can bake it in a regular oven.
Yes, I have been planning to get myself one of those for a while now, Don. Just waking up to the smell of fresh-baked bread would be worth the investment. I didn't realise they could do the mixing and kneading for you as well. Ah, modern technology. I'll have to go see if there are some tempting offers in the Spring Festival sales next week.
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