A Marathoner no more?

Yesterday was the deadline for registrations for this year's Beijing Marathon.  I was full of good intentions of trying to get myself signed up for it (even though I had a bunch of work chores to take care of), but....  Well, I just didn't find the time.   Cold feet yet again, I'm afraid.  Since picking up a bad knee injury on the Great Wall Marathon nearly three-and-a-half years ago, I have suffered a succession of minor but persistent injuries as well as a number of more general health problems which have inhibited me from getting back into a regular training habit.  And, as a result, I've put on a lot of weight: I'm nearly a stone (6kg, if you must have it in metric terms) heavier than I was when I tried "running the Wall". Over the past three years I suppose I must have been forced to abandon plans to compete in at least 6 or 7 marathons here in China: Beijing, Shanghai, Xiamen, The Great Wall.  I am pathetic.   I did quite a bit of running during my summer holiday, but was bothered by a nameless metabolic (or existential) ailment which has been mysteriously sapping my strength and my will for some months now.  Since I got back to Beijing 4 weeks ago, I have dismally failed to get back into a daily jogging habit; I have in fact managed only 4 or 5 - fairly short - runs in all that time.  So, I just don't think I'd be able to get in shape for the full-distance event, which is now just one month away.  And I rather fear I may have to go and see a doctor to try and find out what it is that's making me feel so bloody feeble all the time.   I've never been what you'd call a natural athlete, and, after such a long run of injuries and ill health, I'm beginning to think that I may have run my last marathon. Now that I am entering my middle forties - with the stoutening of girth which seems inevitably to accompany this stage of life - my body no longer seems to be capable of putting forth the effort, or enduring the physical pounding, that long-distance running requires.   Damn.  I'm going to miss it.  It has been a big part of my life.     Then again, maybe my bloody-mindedness may yet get the better of me.  I hate to admit defeat, ever.  The Beijing organisers may still be accepting "late registrations" for a while longer (at an elevated fee, but that's more of an annoyance than a fatally offputting price barrier).  If I can get in a few good - painless - runs in the next week (and/or rustle up some more work, which would help to make the dratted registration fee seem a less irresponsible expenditure), then I may... just may give it a go after all.   Watch this space.