My blog-buddy Tony was jesting (or perhaps not??) the other day that he has a producer interested in transforming his blog into a film. Discussions in the comment-thread touted the possibility that the great French actor Gérard Depardieu might be cast as me. I was, naturally, flattered by the suggestion (though subsequently rather piqued at the news that I was to be 'cut', on budgetary grounds). However, much as I am impressed by his talent, I am less impressed by Depardieu's body - not physically right for me, I feel.
This got me to thinking about who I would like to play me, should the film rights to Froogville or Barstool Blues ever be taken up (unlikely, I know, but a man can dream).
These, then, are the.....
Actors I would be happiest to see playing me
5) Johnny Depp
(Zero physical resemblance, but he does the eccentric humour and the brooding intensity so well.)
4) Edward Norton
(Again, just about zero physical resemblance, but the man can play anyone. And one of my friends worked with him when he was over here making The Painted Veil, so....)
3) John Cusack
(My Indian friend, The Egregious Dr P, once suggested that there was a strong resemblance between us, in manner rather than looks. Love the man, love his work - why not? I don't think my hair colour is an essential part of my Froogness.)
2) Paul Bettany
(Hiram, I can put you in touch with his agent.)
1) Ewan McGregor
(Yes, yes, I know he's Scottish - but he's so me.)
Actors I have often been compared to....
(No, really - this happens to me a lot; especially here in China. I don't necessarily concur with these identifications, of course. In fact, I think the people who make these comparisons are absolutely bonkers.)
5) George Clooney
4) Colin Firth
3) Jude Law
2) Pierce Brosnan
1) Hugh Grant
Actors who I would love to see playing me..... but for the unfortunate barriers of age, ethnicity, or being no longer alive
5) Peter O'Toole
4) Denzel Washington
3) Shashi Kapoor
2) Alain Delon
1) Cary Grant
And finally.....
Actors who should never be allowed to play me
(Not that I have anything against them. Fine actors, every one of them. And the sort of chaps I can envisage some people recommending for the role of Froog. Just not right somehow. Sorry.)
5) Gérard Depardieu
4) Brad Pitt
3) Daniel Day-Lewis
2) Daniel Craig
1) Tom Cruise
Come on, commenters! Do your worst!!
1 comment:
Mrs 'The Nags' tells me she always thinks of me "as being played by George Clooney, but he seems to have stopped getting any older which is just weird."
Hmm, well, 'Swoony' Clooney seems to be a bit stop-start on the aging front. He looked to be heading for the wrong end of middle age in a hurry in Syriana, but perhaps that was mostly the work of the make-up team and some flab-flakes dieting.
I thought he had that Dorian Gray syndrome back in his E.R. days (probably the make-up people again), but seems to have been growing old gracefully since. I much prefer a distinguished splash of grey around the edges of my thatch.... to the sudden thinning at the back that toxic Beijing has brought on me over this last year or so.
Now, I admire George quite a bit. Indeed, I perhaps envy him a little. He's a good-looking rogue, to be sure. He's just not me, either in appearance or in manner. I can't do that 'twinkle' thing he does. I think you must need heaps more sexual confidence than I have to pull that off.
But thanks for the flattering suggestion, Mrs TN.
(Some people, you see, just don't do comments.)
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