Thursday, June 26, 2008

Chinese job applications

This story actually comes from my friend Jean, who used to do the oral exams for the IELTS English test, and would keep herself entertained through the tedious weekend's slog that this is by recording the most amusing student encounters and e-mailing or text-messaging the highlights to her friends later in the day.

Interviewer: So, why are you studying English?

Candidate: I want to be a cunt.

Interviewer [taken aback]: I'm sorry?

Candidate: I want to be a cunt.

Interviewer [struggling to retain composure]: Er, why?

Candidate: My mother is a cunt. And my father is a cunt too. All my family likes a-cunting.

Interviewer [now visibly cringing]: I see......

Candidate [warming to her subject]: So, I want to study a-cunting. I want to be certify-a-cunt.

Interviewer [englightenment slowly dawning]: Ah, I see. So, er, moving on......

Ah, and then there was this gem related to me a while ago by Ben The Jerry, one of my Pool Bar companions. He does a bit of work editing CVs and application letters for Chinese graduates seeking work with foreign companies.

He told me that one girl seeking translation work had included on her CV, under 'Personal Qualities', the following statement:

"I am careful and hard-working. Not lazy like foreigners!"

And this, remember, was intended to support an application for employment with a foreign company. Naivety is something of a national trait.

No comments: