What time is that jacket?

Yesterday, in the recording studio......

Pretty much the first of the micro-dialogues my partner and I were asked to perform was this:

"How much is that jacket?"

"Seven fifteen."

Well, it tickled me. I know it is possible to quote prices without referring to the currency, but I don't think it's the prevalent practice in any English-speaking country that I've been to; and it does seem particularly awkward in this example, where we have such an improbable figure being quoted, and one that just happens to sound rather more like a time.

I strongly suspect that the above exchange was created by an accidental fusing of two incompatible dialogues. Such Frankenstein creations are quite common, as Chinese educational publishers make just a minimal effort to introduce a few variations into the endlessly recycled basic scripts.

Some of these oft-used scripts clearly go back a very long way - inappropriate cultural references, especially wildly out-of-date prices, act as useful little archaeological markers for dating their origins. It's not uncommon to find such exchanges as this:

"How much is a flight from New York to London this week?"

"50 dollars."

"That's very reasonable. What a great airline PanAm is!"

I am recreating from imagination more than memory with this last example, but I have encountered many examples like this, honestly.

The last line there looks suspiciously like an interpolation from one of my predecessors behind the microphone. Every once in a while, we will spot a surprising novelty in one our tired old scripts, and realise - with a certain alarm - that our employers have been transcribing the occasional facetious asides that we make to keep ourselves amused in the studio. There is a one dialogue - actually more of a genre! - that comes up all the time: a tourist couple (sometimes Chinese, sometimes foreign, sometimes unspecified; sometimes on holiday in China, sometimes in New York, sometimes elsewhere) discussing their plans for the day, ending with what they will do for dinner that evening. The conclusion is always the suggestion by one partner of eating at a Chinese restaurant and the other delightedly agreeing (oh, the propaganda here is subtle, pervasive!). Except..... once I was rather shocked to find a dialogue of this pattern ending with the line: "Why don't we go to an Indian restaurant? It'll be such a nice change from all this greasy Chinese food!"

You could have knocked me down with a feather. Especially as I recognised in these words the familiar acerbic humour of my principal recording partner, Dishy Debs.

We have to be careful what we say behind that microphone - or our own words may come back to haunt us one day. It is a daunting responsibility.

(And NO - of course we don't get paid for these impromptu script contributions!)