Sunday, February 17, 2008

Further evidence of the non-existence of god

I am starting to grow hair on the back of my feet. How unnecessary is that? I do not find this in any way a compensation or a consolation for the fact that it is no longer growing out of my scalp (not in the lustrous profusion of old, anyway).

I am starting to look like a godamned hobbit. And I really hate hobbits!

I think perhaps The Evil One (David Warner, one of the best ever screen 'devils') in Time Bandits said it best:
"Look how He spends his time. 43 species of parrot! Nipples for men! The Universe is in the hands of a lunatic."

3 comments:

Mothman said...

This is beginning to worry me. I have had hair growing from the tops of my feet since I was about thirteen. I recall lying on my back in a drunken stupor in the South of France aged about 20 with The Commander (or The Sub-Lieutenant as he was then) plucking them out of my left foot one by one - and my remarking casually to my tormentor that it was exquisitely painful but I didn't care. Maybe it was episodes such as this that hastened my exit from the path of being an alcoholist?

Everybody has their great defining follicular moments. My first was finding my first chest hair, while reclined in the bath aged 16 or so. The second was finding (very, very recently you understand) my first grey chest hair...

What colour are your foot hairs, Froog?

Froog said...

Oh, black, deepest black.

And only a few.

But I find them worryingly inappropriate.

Mothman said...

Phew! That's a relief...

But rather worrying that you actually looked.

By the way, your aversion to Hobbits is not shared by Bernie Ecclestone (the 'Boss of Formula One', 5 feet 2 tall and possibly quite hairy). As reported in the national press today he and his 6 foot 2 Croatian wife were recently villified by some jealous member of the fourth estate, part of whose vilification revolved around the term 'Hobbit'. Ecclestone rather endeared himself to many (strange but true) by declining to sue on the grounds that he was "not very intelligent" and so had to "look up" the word Hobbit. Ascertaining that both he and Hobbits were both "small and successful" he decided to accept it as a compliment...

I'm not quite sure why I mentioned that.

It's hair on the palms of the hands that you need to keep an eye out for, I was always told...