"Chinese people love me because..... I have big eyes.... and a long nose.... and I'm very tall."
There is a certain type of Chinese girl who throws herself at Western men. It's quite a common type. If you quiz them on why they find you attractive, this is what they will always say (even if you're a snub-nosed squinty dwarf). You ponder this for a moment, and then reply, "So, what you're basically saying is that I don't look Chinese." I am hugely irritated by the shallowness (and the self-loathing racism) of this. It is amongst the main reasons why I am unlikely ever to take a Chinese girlfriend.
10 comments:
i propose a new discussion topic--
"I love Chinese people because XXXX"
something is keeping you there, despite all your alleged cynicism... what is it? tell ussss.
Ah, well, Moonrat dearest, that's all in the subtext.
"take a Chinese girlfriend."
Froog, don't you think the local attitude is rubbing off on you a little more than you might want to admit?
(Stuck in Delaware, trial on Wednesday, though I swear I have lived in apartments smaller than the room I have.)
Is 'take' somehow un-PC? It's good English where I come from. Which is England, after all.
It seems particularly apposite in this instance, because it would simply be a matter of passive acceptance of one of the myriad opportunities, of abandoning resistance or avoidance, of 'going with the flow'.
Of course, the real problem is that there are lots of Chinese girls who are extremely smart and savvy and worldly and independent, and would probably make great girlfriends - but it does become difficult to distinguish these from the vast majority of man-chasing airheads, and I've rather given up trying.
Also, I fear, even with these smarter ones, there is often a lack of self-awareness or self-analysis about why they're attracted to you - something that I find offputting. It does seem that it's often simply a fascination with 'the other', with racial difference. Nothing wrong with that per se - except that it's so generic, so undiscriminating. I want a girl to like me for a reason that's about me, not something that would apply equally well to 50,000 other guys in this city.
Ah yes, and often it's just crudely materialistic: a judgement that we have better jobs, better earning power, can give them a better life. In my case, such an assumption is sadly misguided! That is something I find very offputting.
I know there are all sorts of cultural factors at play here, and I do try to be tolerant and accepting of it. It does seem to be commonly culturally accepted here that age and financial status are viewed as 'attractive' - equally as much as, or perhaps indistinguishably from (the Chinese don't seem to be good at thinking in categories, drawing distinctions), purely physical attractiveness. It's also a cultural trait to lay flattery on with a trowel. And it seems to be accepted as more appropriate to flatter a man about his physical appearance, even if you're actually attracted just to his money. That's why you always get girls coming on to you with all this "You're so tall and handsome" crap.
It does get to be a bore, honestly. I try to deal with it graciously. I try to be understanding of its cultural underpinnings. But I have to say that I find it a huge turn-off.
I am an overweight, balding, middle-aged man who drinks too much and has a sour sense of humour. If you want to wheedle your way into my affections, don't tell me how handsome I am. Don't tell me how glamorously foreign I look. Tell me you understand my jokes.
It's not that it is un-PC. It is just that it implies a sense of activity on the part of the male, and passivity on the part of the female.
That may well be accurate in the situation there, but it isn't necessarily a universal viewpoint.
"Snub-nosed squinty dwarf." Lol.
"It's good English where I come from. Which is England, after all."
Oy. Let's not start. I have a sneaking suspicion that the chiefly British constructions that annoy me are actually not considered good English by grammarians in England. Forget I said anything.
"It seems particularly apposite in this instance, because it would simply be a matter of passive acceptance of one of the myriad opportunities, of abandoning resistance or avoidance, of 'going with the flow'." ... "It is just that it implies a sense of activity on the part of the male, and passivity on the part of the female."
Both good points. I think we need some middle ground. (I would hope that "take a...wife/girlfiend" is outdated. It sounds like something that would come out of Jane Austen. Are you our hidden Mr. Darcy? Ok. Bad example in this case. I'm going to shut up now. It's too early for literary... whatever.)
I need some mini wheats.
Well, lovely to have you dropping in before breakfast, OMG.
I think my choice of verb probably was a little antiquated here, but.... what are the alternatives, really?
I don't like the American term 'date' - it's not something we Brits really do. Our favoured locution tends to the somewhat ponderous phrasal verb "go out with".... and I was looking to save a bit of typing time.
On the active/passive connotation of the verb 'take' here, I think there's a distinction between a rapacious idea of pro-active 'taking', and a more passive accepting of something that's offered or available - as in the phrase, "I'll take what I can get." The latter idea was the nuance I was aiming at.
Not a horny Viking throwing captive wenches over his shoulder kind of thing.
But the imagery was so much more interesting when you were a viking.
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