I've never been much good at job interviews. I probably have one of the lowest job-to-job-interview ratios of anyone alive. Friends have often tried to encourage me with such well-meaning platitudes as "Just be yourself". The trouble with that is that I am a workshy hypochondriac with a threadbare CV and absolutely no respect for authority. Somehow, I just don't seem to fit most people's 'ideal employee' profiles.
These interviews always remind me inexorably of the infamous dental torture scene in Marathon Man, where the tormented Dustin Hoffman, who has not the faintest understanding of what he is being asked or why, starts blurting out everything he can think of, in the hope that something will be the 'right' answer that will stop nasty Nazi Olivier probing the cavity in his molar. "No, it's not safe at all. It's incredibly dangerous." "Yes, it's very, very safe. You wouldn't believe how incredibly safe it is." And so on.
I've just been through that ordeal again. Three times in the space of just over a week. I can't remember the last time I had to suffer it. I don't think I've really had any job interviews while I've been in China. I mean, I've had a few - but generally the key, if not the only question was, "When can you start?" Employers over here - whether Chinese or foreign - tend not to be all that discriminating.
Amazingly enough, I appear not to have completely torpedoed myself this time. In fact, there have been several heavy hints that they regard me as the outstanding candidate and will almost certainly make me an offer.
They've been a bit naughty, really, I think. They actually asked me, "If we offered you the job, would you take it?" Come on, guys - no fair! You already have all the power in this situation. Now, you've just got to run through your candidate list in order of preference, making offers until someone says 'Yes'. You can't be fannying around with all this 'what if' and 'would you' crap. That's just not the way the game is played.
And besides, it's a LONG time since I had the pleasure of being able to turn down a job I was offered.
My problem here is that they are being tightwads about the money. Worse, they have backtracked rather from the (admittedly, purposefully vague) indications on salary they gave me at the initial interviews last week. I was pitching for 20,000 RMB per month, and was told that should be possible. In fact, I had been regarding that as a minimum, had been hoping to prise a little bit more out of them. I had also been expecting (optimism or naivety??) that figures quoted would be ex-tax (I've got rather used to the 'all in cash' economy that prevails here). Alas, no. In fact, there appears to be a grave danger that I might actually have a significant tax exposure both here in China and back home in the UK. And the salary they're now mentioning is only 75% of what we'd originally discussed. With tax deductions, it might end up being no better than 50%. Ouch.
OK, I was perhaps being a little greedy. Initially, the position will only be half-time, so it's not utterly abysmal remuneration (at least not by depressed local standards). However, I can often make 2 to 3 times as much just noodling around doing the little bits of freelancing I do now, and that's after tax. Although I should be able to keep up some of this freelancing during my remaining "free days" of the week, I will almost certainly lose most of it. Taking this job is likely to result in a significant drop in my income.
On the other hand, it does offer 'stability', 'respectability', 'career prospects'. I have reached a point in my life where I am questioning whether I can afford to keep on spurning such things.
Bugger, bugger, bugger - it is a difficult decision. (Well, it might be. They haven't made a formal offer yet. I'll have to wait until next week.)
One of my friends, a trainee 'life coach', sent me the text message last night: "The life coach in me would ask: What do you REALLY want to do?"
I replied: "Sarah, dearest, that is precisely my problem: I haven't got THE FAINTEST IDEA! The gambler in me is reaching for a pair of green dice..."
10 comments:
Good luck with the job offer, sir. A little bit of "respectability" once in a while usually proves to be good for the bank balance, even if it will curtail your devil-may-care freelancing activities a little.
May one ask who is this young lady that you turn to for advice?
Ugh. I hate job interviews and the rigamarole that is involved in job offers and salary discussions. Lucky for me I'm not getting any requests for interviews. Er... wait. Um...
"Taking this job is likely to result in a significant drop in my income." Tough spot to be in. But I wish you luck with the offer.
snopes is wise.
snopes is right.
Take the job.
Have I managed to get my opinion across, yet? ;)
Ah, Tulsa, you just don't feel comfortable having a friend who is such a dropout.
Sorry, conformity ain't my thing. I'm only even considering taking this position because I am fantasising about how idealistic/subversive/iconoclastic I could make it.
Plus, it has a very cool job title.
Snopes, you cheeky fellow! We haven't heard from you in a while.
Actually, I've been in such a tailspin about this job prospect that I asked just about everybody I know out here for comment.
The "life coach" is deeply lovely - but, I fear, doesn't "take me seriously". I have quite a coterie of gorgeous female friends out here; alas, I suspect this is only possible because they have come to regard me as 'safe', as a completely non-sexual person. I feel increasingly like the gay male confidant in Sex In The City.
Did you see the "tell us 8 interesting things about yourself" game we've been playing on here this week? Would you care to join in? You can use this comment-thread, if you like. (I'm assuming you don't have a blog. Maybe you do??)
Froog, you obviously haven't been paying attention. I have no problem having friends who don't have cool titles. I take insult to the assumption that I'd only be friends with cool titles.
and were we not friends already, I'd actually stop, right here. finished. over. what a deep misunderstanding of who I am!!
But, ah, well, I suppose it happens, I suppose the stress of the decision is clouding your thinking and you know not what you say.
But, if it's stability and money you are after, well, having the cool title for one year, without the money, will lead you to money, sooner rather than later, in this job market.
But, Thursday night, after witnessing everyone limit their comments to asking you "what do you want..." without putting any effort forth into really discussing it, I figured someone ought to point out the obvious, if you want money, you need a title.
I got worried there for a moment Tulsa, I thought you were moving out of the flat to never come back, but I was happy to read the next bit, that you are not really moving out.
Now to Froog, and the job. Froog I don't know how old/expreienced or pro the coaches you have around you are, but instead of taking every one's advice, listen to the Queen.
Now I have been reading a lot between the lines of Froogx2, and I have noticed things which give me some insight into your world and what you NEED. Your friend Sarah is saying to look within and ask yourself what YOU want, your other friend tulsa says that you want money and title will bring you that..........then you describe very well that your dream job would be to sit somewhere and "watch the girls walk by", drinking and snaking on free nush.
What all of this tells me, with your experience of barlife, your likes and dislikes in life, your dreams of the future, and needs of a bit of stability and a steady income, I'd say you need to become a co-owner of a BAR. Invest the money you might not have, in a new place which will give you the freedom of working when and if you like, drink there for free -knowing that the more you drink the less you'll earn- and the girls will be coming through the bar wether you like it or not.
(I'll leave my CV and knowledge base out, but trust me on this one)
You know better than anyone how good or bad the banks see you. If you have a way of getting some credit, based on a good idea extracted from your many years of experience in the BAR-field, and a few trustworthy business partners who trust you and would want to enter a partnership with you, then you have the formula for happiness in the palm of your hand.
One of your partners needs to be someone who knows the business side of the bar-business, otherwise it won't work. You also need a partner who is super ambitious on the economy side. Location is alway KEY in such businesses, so that is the one thing you should not spare any means on, if you ever go further with this idea/advice.
Think about it.
PS, China is not the only country in the world.
Earthling, I'm too tired/exhausted to move out. And I'm not really upset.
And I don't really think Froog needs my advice. He's a big boy (and a smart one) and can take care of himself. Whatever he decides will be the right choice because it will be his decision.
Froog already has an excellent construction-themed bar idea -- check out his post on it over in the Sister Blog.
Back to work, back to work, back to work for me....
Snopes,
I've yet to hear the story of you and Froog....
Please do post your 8 things. Would love to read them.
Well, eight things about myself that might be of interest to Mr Froog's readership is quite a challenge. I will do my best to oblige, but it may take me a little time. Please bear with me, Ms Tulsa.
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