Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Possible epitaphs

A game I play from time to time.

I've always found particularly poignant HAL the computer's half-assed apology (for murdering the rest of the crew) in '2001: A Space Odyssey', a line that's surely applicable to all of us:
"I know I've made some poor decisions recently."

Another contender that occurred to me recently, as I've realised I use it quite regularly as a lame excuse for..... putting my head around the door of a favourite bar for no good reason (and falling into an evening's drinking), dropping in on people unannounced (and trying to tempt them into an evening's drinking), stalking potential girlfriends (and then consoling my failure with an evening's drinking); yes, far too often I say I was just....
"In the area, with nothing better to do..."

Other ideas more specifically on a drinking theme include:
"Always Happy Hour Now!"

Or, adapting Beethoven:
"I shall drink beer in Heaven."

And it's hard not to like Spike Milligan's choice (actually on his gravestone, I believe):
"I told you I was ill!"

Or, a more optimistic one (for believers in reincarnation, especially?):
"Back in 5 minutes."

And a - perhaps - more pessimistic one (for believers in reincarnation, especially?):
"Here we go again!"

Or, following the late Bill Hicks:
"It was A RIDE."

There may be more of these in coming weeks.

Actually, my abiding favourite is from the end of Orson Welles's thriller 'Touch of Evil' ("the greatest B-movie ever made") where Marlene Dietrich's aging Mexican whore remarks on Welles's recently deceased cop: "What does it matter what you say about people when they're dead? He was some kind of a man, that's all."

No comments: