tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post6485584834753994202..comments2024-01-08T19:49:13.932+00:00Comments on Froogville: Chinese people LOVE me! (15)Frooghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06738623732860210935noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-15335762013177376472008-01-28T14:58:00.000+00:002008-01-28T14:58:00.000+00:00And apologies to Tulsa. I did not mean to imply yo...And apologies to Tulsa. I did not mean to imply you whined. Well, apart from accusing you of it directly, that is. I think more I should have implied you used your feminine wiles to get your way. :-)The British Cowboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00439277300657927816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-26188378772815300652008-01-28T14:57:00.000+00:002008-01-28T14:57:00.000+00:00In defense of myself, everything has been totally ...In defense of myself, everything has been totally above board, and I am not 'dating' either as such.The British Cowboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00439277300657927816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-77804926662952225762008-01-26T13:41:00.000+00:002008-01-26T13:41:00.000+00:00Cowboy!!! Shame on you!! I'm Earthling, a girl, a...Cowboy!!! Shame on you!! I'm Earthling, a girl, and I think it's very bad of you to be dating two friends seperately. Someone will get hurt, unless what Froog suggested happens. So you better put your cards on the table for them both and ask them if they are up for it. Otherwise, choose one or the other and stop contacting the other. You don't need to tell them what you've been doing, just stop dating one of them. This is not at all an order, just a suggestion so that no one gets hurt. <BR/><BR/>Good luck, and keep paying, I'm sure you can afford it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-32708527388669931972008-01-26T11:29:00.000+00:002008-01-26T11:29:00.000+00:00Hi TBC, I think your inclination to pick up the ta...Hi TBC, <BR/><BR/>I think your inclination to pick up the tab falls under my acceptable moments as described here:<BR/><BR/>"Paying for others is now limited to specific circumstances that mean something (a thank you for that favor lunch, a it's been ages since I've seen you dinner, or even a gosh i just want to let you know I'm glad we're friends coffee) and that's just perfect."<BR/><BR/>Letting others pay for you is totally okay in many many circumstances, but in developing countries, it's so strongly tied to "face" and the reality of an average white collar salary of RMB5,000 (that's USD685) that I completely understand why Froog says expats feel obligated to pick up the bill.<BR/><BR/>And yes, expat money is money, too. It's hard-earned and doesn't grow on trees and many are paid in RMB at a fraction of Western average salaries (so it's not like all expats are rolling in money), but still, most expats are only paying for themselves and can afford a splurge and picking up the bill. Whereas, locals often are earning to support spouses and children and grandparents and parents, and pay off that mortgage, etc. <BR/><BR/>So, anyways, kudos to you for picking up the bill for dinner with the Singer's Best Friend (not judging) and I hope she let you pay. Your scenario is toootally different than ours. And so the rules are different. <BR/><BR/>p.s. I do not whine.Tulsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04676859756094090643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-71365410004110142782008-01-26T01:02:00.000+00:002008-01-26T01:02:00.000+00:00I told you, the Hogan's post is gestating. I don'...I told you, the Hogan's post is gestating. I don't want to do a rush job - it's far more <I>important</I> than all that 'dating advice' nonsense.<BR/><BR/>I refuse to rise to your <I>Kane</I> bait. You are a philistine, of course, but this is not news.Frooghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06738623732860210935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-52558161188480817592008-01-25T18:57:00.000+00:002008-01-25T18:57:00.000+00:00Actually no. Horribly, horribly overrated movie.So...Actually no. Horribly, horribly overrated movie.<BR/><BR/>So Tulsa whines and gets her promised post done immediately. I remind you it has been aeons since you promised to write on Hogans and... NOTHING.<BR/><BR/>What does she have that I don't? On second thoughts, don't answer that one...The British Cowboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00439277300657927816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-59759679879302819392008-01-25T18:23:00.000+00:002008-01-25T18:23:00.000+00:00I might think badly of you if you browbeat them in...I might think badly of you if you browbeat them into performing lesbian shenanigans together for your perverted enjoyment, videoed it, and then immediately posted it on YouTube.<BR/><BR/>I might enjoy it, guiltily - but I would think <I>badly</I> of you for it.<BR/><BR/>But there's no chance of that, right?<BR/><BR/>Best of luck tonight with the 'singer'.<BR/><BR/>I thought you were going to pick me up on the quotation marks. Are you not a <I>Citizen Kane</I> fan?Frooghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06738623732860210935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-6493302654143372422008-01-25T18:08:00.000+00:002008-01-25T18:08:00.000+00:00Actually, and please don't think badly of me for t...Actually, and please don't think badly of me for this, it was the singer's best friend.<BR/><BR/>I may be going on a date with the singer tonight.The British Cowboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00439277300657927816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-17495154762654519332008-01-25T17:58:00.000+00:002008-01-25T17:58:00.000+00:00Ah - 'digging a hole'.... but doing it nicely. We...Ah - 'digging a hole'.... but doing it nicely. Well done, Cowboy.<BR/><BR/>Was this the 'singer' that we haven't heard anything of since New Year's Eve??Frooghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06738623732860210935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-24563333325212590092008-01-25T14:22:00.000+00:002008-01-25T14:22:00.000+00:00I wasn't (and wouldn't) suggest you should have pa...I wasn't (and wouldn't) suggest you should have paid the Metro fare, Froog.<BR/><BR/>I was commenting more generally on the troubles I have gotten into recently. Including a somewhat drunken conversation with a friend/date that went something along the lines of "I'm not trying to sleep with you, I would pick up the tab if I was out with a guy too, well maybe I am trying to sleep with you, but the tab isn't part of that..."The British Cowboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00439277300657927816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-84979904077510030792008-01-24T23:39:00.000+00:002008-01-24T23:39:00.000+00:00Yes, yes, men do still often expect to pay - are e...Yes, yes, men do still often expect to pay - are expected to pay - for most things on dates.<BR/><BR/>But a subway ticket?? I can't see that <I>ever</I> happening in the West - unless you're taking a journey together, of course.<BR/><BR/>Similar thing here with your business host getting all uptight if you pause to talk to a roadside merchant about a bottle of water or a can of Coke, and butting in to insist on paying the 1 or 2<I>kuai</I> for you. It's awkward, intrusive, unnecessary.Frooghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06738623732860210935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-39741293197033286582008-01-24T18:55:00.000+00:002008-01-24T18:55:00.000+00:00Depends on so many things. The same person might f...Depends on so many things. The same person might feel differently in different situations and with different men trying to do the same thing. Me -a girl- knows that cercumstances, age, age differences, places, deapth of relationship and the moment, and last but not least, the ammont of money the MAN has, can be varying factors which make the girl feel comfortable or un-comfortable having them pay for her.<BR/><BR/>The richer the man is, the easier it is to let him pay. The older he is as well as being wealthy, the easier it gets to let him pay. The more galant he is about the paying part, the less creepy it gets. <BR/><BR/>But depending on nationality and culture, these factors can change. Also depending on what kind of a relationship there is between the man and the "girl".<BR/><BR/>I have got a book called "The sexual contract". Worth having a look.<BR/><BR/>Upbringing and culture determin how people allow themselves to feel comfort or discomfort about such situations. <BR/><BR/>EarthlingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-44791601322726124062008-01-24T16:08:00.000+00:002008-01-24T16:08:00.000+00:00And I think, in these modern times, even trying to...And I think, in these modern times, even trying to give your date her taxi money home (unless she'd asked for it or you knew she was running short) would seem pretty patronising. Insisting on giving her a couple of bucks for the Metro would be..... <I>creepy</I>?Frooghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06738623732860210935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-11292622877658962602008-01-24T16:06:00.000+00:002008-01-24T16:06:00.000+00:00Yeah, well, we do the same here too, Cowboy. Exce...Yeah, well, we do the same here too, Cowboy. Except that you're rarely talking about there being less than 8 or 10 people at the table, and often twice that many. I think that would give you pause even in the States.<BR/><BR/>And you do it - we do it in the West - out of a desire to be nice, a desire to be generous, a desire to show off our wealth sometimes, maybe; here in China that do it out of an obscure sense of necessity, and in the belief that they will be somehow humiliated by having anyone else offer to pay.<BR/><BR/>It is pretty fucked up sometimes.Frooghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06738623732860210935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-38600868689783611642008-01-24T15:11:00.000+00:002008-01-24T15:11:00.000+00:00Damn it - why did that post under my real name?Damn it - why did that post under my real name?The British Cowboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00439277300657927816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-946676089129454612008-01-24T15:05:00.000+00:002008-01-24T15:05:00.000+00:00I'll confess to be hideously old fashioned, then. ...I'll confess to be hideously old fashioned, then. I tend to pick up the check without thinking about it. It is standard with the people I go out with here that one person pays - as we go out together a lot, it rotates round, so no one tends to get too badly burned.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05348580387066318361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-49293571142754792042008-01-24T09:00:00.000+00:002008-01-24T09:00:00.000+00:00"and yes, the younger, "westernized" generation ha..."and yes, the younger, "westernized" generation hasn't figured out the wonders of going dutch"<BR/><BR/>oops, I meant to say they HAVE figured it out...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33211251.post-28502052154036802552008-01-24T08:58:00.000+00:002008-01-24T08:58:00.000+00:00haha, that's a great story about the subway ticket...haha, that's a great story about the subway ticket. <BR/><BR/>and yes, the younger, "westernized" generation hasn't figured out the wonders of going dutch... though the westernized half generation does flit in an out of "face" and dutch depending on the circumstances, as in the crowd they are dining with... or at least this is the result of my experience and the pointed questions I've asked colleagues.<BR/><BR/>i'm also very conscious about not letting others pay for me, so it's something I've worked at since I was a child (I have specific memories of being 10 years old and accepting an invitation to go to a farmer's market with my aunt... I sat my older sister down and asked her what I should do if my aunt insisted on paying for me... my little 10 year old self was really worried about it.)<BR/><BR/>anyways, going dutch is one of the best gifts to the going out culture that the West has to offer. Paying for others is now limited to specific circumstances that mean something (a thank you for that favor lunch, a it's been ages since I've seen you dinner, or even a gosh i just want to let you know I'm glad we're friends coffee) and that's just perfect.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com